Closet Listening Positive Discipline

Hello L & L parents,

I love these tool cards. And Love Positive Discipline. You can get get these tools on your iPhone via an app. Christy brought these cards into our class 2 Wks ago. This strategy works with spouses too, or anyone that is important to us!!! Giving our time shows that the receiver is a priority to us, particularly when we truly don't have an agenda, other than to be connected and find out how they are. So simple in theory, yet challenging to practice regularly, as with most things in life. Please let me know if anyone has success with closet listening, and/or how giving effective choices is going. You can also click below for a 90 second recording describing this concept. 

Keep practicing:)

Andrea 

Andrea L Gooldy

Parent Educator and Coach

404-932-9393 

Begin forwarded message:

From: Positive Discipline <noreply@blogger.com>
Date: October 20, 2014 at 5:22:36 PM EDT
To: Andreaparentcoach@gmail.com
Subject: Positive Discipline with Dr. Jane Nelsen

Positive Discipline with Dr. Jane Nelsen

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Closet Listening Posted: 20 Oct 2014 12:27 PM PDT A Positive Discipline Tool Card Have you ever tried talking with your children only to be frustrated by one word, unenthusiastic, totally bored responses? Many parents become discouraged when they ask their children, "How was your day?" and their children say, "Fine." Then they ask, "What did you do today?" The response is, "Nothing." Try closet listening. Closet listening means you find times to be near your children, hoping they will talk with you, but not being obvious about it. I tried this with my daughter, Mary, when she was a teenager. While Mary was getting ready for school, fixing her hair and makeup at the bathroom mirror, I would go in and sit on the edge of the tub. The first time I did this, Mary asked, "What do you want, Mama?" I said, "Nothing, except that I  just want to spend a few minutes with you." Mary waited to see what would come next. Nothing did. She finished fixing her hair and makeup and said, "Bye, Mama." I continued to do this every morning. It wasn't long before Mary got used to having me there. I didn't ask any questions, but before long, Mary would chat away about all the things that were going on in her life. Children often feel interrogated. You may be ready to talk when your child isn't. Experiment by serving cookies without asking, "How was your day?" Just sit there. Perhaps children who resist questions will respond when you make yourself available and just listen. Click on the link below to listen to Dr. Jane Nelsen talk about Closet Listening Click Here if you do not see the MP3 player. Subscribe to Positive Discipline by Email This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now

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Parenting the L & L Way ~ Session 4 Avoiding Power Struggles

Tomorrow, Fri Oct 17th, Session 4 :  Avoiding Power-Struggles via Effective Choices at Springmont School @

915 AM

Morning L & L Parents,

Come find out tomorrow how we can actually gain more control by giving some of it away. Curious if anyone has been listening to the CD's I have loaned out. No pressure. Just pop in for a couple mins, when get a moment.  I love hearing what you get from listening on your own. In Friday's session, we will learn more tips for setting limits without going to war. The main two benefits of giving choices : 

1 - Doing so ups the odds of cooperation from our kids.

2 - It gives them plenty of decision making practice. 

"When we try to hoard control, we lose it. When we share control, we gain it."

Please make note of our remaining session dates: Fri Dec 5th

Dec 5th   :  Session 5 

  *** Thinking about adding an Extra session in Nov since such a long break between sessions and to catch up since videos are so long ~ please let me know if interested, and if you are, if you can come on Mon morning Nov 3rd  for the extra session as I already have the conference room reserved at Springmont for my next series. Or, if this does not work for the majority, I have another space we can meet at, on a Fri am, over in Perimeter area off Hammond & Peachtree Dunwoody Rd so about 3 to 4 miles from Springmont ***

Rules for Providing Choices:

* Only give choices that fit your value system.

* Give 99% of choices when things are going smoothly. 

* Give choices before your child becomes resistant.

* For each choice, give two options, each of which you like.

* Don't be afraid to say, "I usually give choices, but not this time."

* If your child doesn't choose very quickly, choose for him or her.

Some examples of effective choices: 

> Will you be wearing your coat or carrying it?

> Are you going to take a shower or a bath?

> Will you be brushing your top teeth first or your bottom ones first?

> Do you want the blue sippy cup or the red one?

> Do you want to leave the playground in two mins or in five minutes?

> Do you prefer you to walk next to me while we shop or sit in the shopping cart / stroller?

> Do you want me to change your diaper in your room or here in the living room?

> I can pay for these clothes or you can pay for the designer ones. It's your choice. 

"Never tell a stubborn child what to do.

Instead, describe what you are willing to do or allow."

Cheers! So happy to finally have done cooler fall boot weather👢

Andrea 

Andrea L Gooldy

Parent Educator and Coach

404-932-9393 

Parenting the Love and Logic Way ~ Session 3 : Fri

Parenting the Love and Logic Way ~ Session 3 : Tomorrow Friday 9:15 AM April Oct 10th at Springmont ~ enforceable statements, the "uh oh song" and the strategic training session🌟

This session is about "Setting Limits Without Waging War"

Hello to my wonderful Love and Logic parents,

If anybody wants to meet at nine to start the video from last week that we missed, I will go early. Please just let me know. Probably best if you text me to advise your early arrival as I see my texts quicker than my emails. Ok?

"Never tell a stubborn child (or spouse) what to do. Describe what you're willing to do or allow instead."

We will learn....

• The secret to setting  enforceable limits

• How to teach kids to listen the first time we ask
• A powerful technique for very young children

• And more ideas for taking good care of ourselves

Please bring your workbooks so we can practice turning our words into gold, aka enforceable statements. Enforceable statements often start with :

"You may ......"

" I will ......"

" Feel free to ....."

When we use enforceable statements, we dramatically increase the odds that our kids will listen very carefully when we open our mouths. 

Unenforceable: 

"Use your manners!"

Enforceable: "I will do things for kids that use 'please' and 'thank you'"

Unenforceable: "Get in your bed and lay down!"

Enforceable: "I read when you're laying down and quiet"

Unenforceable: "Lay down so I can change your diaper. " 

Enforceable: "You may go outside to play after you have a new diaper on."

Unenforceable: "Don't be disrespectful to me!"

Enforceable: "I will be happy to do the extra things I do for you when I feel treated with respect."

Please let me know if anyone has read the Empathy book to your kiddos. You can borrow it, or if you like, buy it from me for what I paid, which is $10.95. Just thinking they would be good gifts for family, friends and new parents or a treat for your family 👭👬👪. It is about teaching our children what empathy looks like and how to use it, but also reminding ourselves as to what it looks like as well....empathy is a skill, that we need to learn and then practice, over and over again.

Looking forward to seeing you all tomorrow am! 

Andrea 

404-932-9393 

Andrea L Gooldy

Parent Educator and Coach

404-932-9393 

Fwd: Sensory Integration Classes

Hi again class!

Hopefully last email from me today so not to overload you:) During class, you have probably heard me talk about sensory integration. And Jen Grahn just asked me today for more information on these enlightening and empowering overview sessions. Just so happens that Chris and I are taking the current daytime overview series. We will go to overview to tomorrow at 11:30 AM. Please go to the bottom of this email to learn more information about what sensory integration is and then what is taught during these four overviews. Chris and I need to work on the homework that is due tomorrow about identifying what are organizing and dis organizing activities for us. Christy has the parents/caregivers do their own work on themselves so as to better be able to help their children increase their sensory processing self-awareness in hopes of being able to better manage their feelings and behavior. It's All Very Fascinating. I wish I knew this when I was much younger, but better now than never! I included Christy on this email in case you want to contact her directly. If going to Decatur does not work, Christy is now offering her overviews online. However, I think being at the live session is probably more effective. 

Andrea 

Here are the current sessions:

Daytime Overview Series - Begins October 1st (Wednesdays, 11:30am - 1pm)

October 1 - Overview One: Introduction to Sensory Integration

October 8 - Overview Two: Creating A Sensory Diet

October 15 - Overview Three: How Does Your Engine Run?

Evening Overview Series - Begins October 23rd(Thursdays, 7pm - 8:30pm)

October 23 - Overview One: Introduction to Sensory Integration

October 30 - Overview Two: Creating A Sensory Diet

November 6 - Overview Three: How Does Your Engine Run?

November 13 - Overview Four: Creating A Therapeutic Play Space

Andrea L Gooldy

Parent Educator and Coach

404-932-9393 

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Christy Kennedy, OTR/L, Inc" <Christy_Kennedy_OTRL_Inc@mail.vresp.com>
Date: August 3, 2014 at 11:01:33 PM EDT
To: andreaparentcoach@gmail.com
Subject: Sensory Integration Classes
Reply-To: "Christy Kennedy, OTR/L, Inc" <reply-0fa9e7d593-148827f034-76a1@u.cts.vresp.com>

 Dear Parents,

Hope you and your family have had a fun summer with time to relax! I am contacting you because I value you as a source for referrals.

I am pleased and excited to announce that occupational therapist Charlie Johnson will be joining ranks with me here in Decatur! If you know of a family who might be in need of our services, please let them know that we have a few openings.

Charlie worked with Clay White for 3 yrs and shadowed me for nearly a year prior to entering into OT school. His focus in sensory processing and arousal regulation in pediatric populations was clear from the beginning.  The children really love his kind and gentle spirit and I am looking forward to his creativity and insights. Charlie additionally has a degree in sociology.

In addition, my next lecture series on Sensory Integration starts soon on September 11 (evening) and October 1st (daytime).  Details are available at: http://www.christykennedyot.com/services.htm.

Thank you for attending my classes in the past and for telling friend and colleagues about these classes. If learning about sensory integration has made a difference for your family, would you please consider forwarding this email to another family?

Feel free to contact me if you have questions or if we may be of service to you. 

With gratitude and all the best for this new school year,


Christy Kennedy, OTR/L
www.christykennedyot.com

 
 

 

 

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Christy Kennedy, OTR/L, Inc 234 E Parkwood Rd Decatur, GA 30030 US Read the VerticalResponse marketing policy.

Fwd: Respect Yourself ~ ScreamFree

Hi Class! 

I know I often refer to different parenting curriculum's during our sessions, such as ScreamFree parenting, or Positive discipline, plus mention helpful books, so I plan to forward you a little info on each so you have access to additional resources. As with everything I send or share, take what is relevant to you or resonates, then file away the rest or forget it:) Too much info can be overwhelming. And if I say that I will send something and I don't, please, please remind me by email or text, and I will get it out to the group. By the way, you can sign up for this daily email by clicking below and going to the website. See you all this Fri am. I will be sending out a session 3 overview in the next day or two. 

ScreamFree parenting is very powerful approach. So true about the control we do have versus what we don't....and that we don't have to take things personally. Again, all this is easy to say, yet hard to do on a regular basis. The good news is that the more we practice pausing, acting calm, the more often we will be that way. It does become a positive pattern😊

What you can control is whether or not you show it to them and whether or not you act in a respectable manner -- even when they don't. As with most things, this has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you.

Andrea L Gooldy

Parent Educator and Coach

404-932-9393 

Begin forwarded message:

From: The ScreamFree Institute <info@screamfree.com>
Date: October 6, 2014 at 12:11:46 PM EDT
To: andreaparentcoach@gmail.com
Subject: Respect Yourself
Reply-To: info@screamfree.com

e-Quip of the Day "You can waste years, trying to get someone to give respect to you, as though it were a sort of promotion or raise in pay. If only you do enough, if only you are good enough. No. You have to just...take it. Give it to yourself, I suppose. Say, I'm sorry you feel like that and walk away." (Lois McMaster Bujold) A ScreamFree Take Respect Yourself You can't control whether or not your kids, your spouse, your parents, your boss, or anyone else shows you respect. What you can control is whether or not you show it to them and whether or not you act in a respectable manner -- even when they don't. As with most things, this has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you. Be the grown up in every situation, and then be confident enough to allow their attempts at disrespect to bounce off of you like the tiny arrows of the Lilliputians in Gulliver's Travels. Their barbs cannot hurt you without your permission. Rather than "huffing and puffing" or "pouting and shouting" when they act disrespectfully, smile to yourself and remember that you don't need their affirmation to know that you're a strong person. Set simple and clear consequences and follow through without taking it all personally. You'll show them what real respect looks like, and you just might earn some along the way. Calm Your World                                Contact us Today to schedule a ScreamFree Coaching                    FREE 20 Minute session        Homepage CONNECT WITH US

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