Thursday, April 24, 2014

Parenting the L & L Way ~ Tomorrow Session 4 : Av

Evening L & L Parents,
Come find out tomorrow how we can actually gain more control by giving some of it away. I am anxious to hear how your last 2 weeks, or 3 weeks have been. Plus, if anyone has been listening to the CD's I have loaned out. I love hearing what you get from listening on your own. In Friday's session, we will learn more tips for setting limits without going to war. The main two benefits of giving choices :
1 - Doing so ups the odds of cooperation from our kids.
2 - It gives them plenty of decision making practice.

"When we try to hoard control, we lose it. When we share control, we gain it."

Please make note of our remaining session dates: May 2nd, May 13th and May 23rd
May 2nd : Session 5
May 23rd : Session 6
*** Extra session for make-up videos Tues May 13th ***

Rules for Providing Choices:
* Only give choices that fit your value system.
* Give 99% of choices when things are going smoothly.
* Give choices before your child becomes resistant.
* For each choice, give two options, each of which you like.
* Don't be afraid to say, "I usually get choices, but not this time."
* If your child doesn't choose very quickly, choose for him or her.

Some examples of effective choices:
> Will you be wearing your coat or carrying it?
> Are you going to take a shower or a bath?
> Will you be brushing your top teeth first or your bottom ones first?
> Do you want the blue sippy cup or the red one?
> Do you want to leave the playground in two mins or in five minutes?
> Do you prefer to walk next to me while we shop or sit in the shopping cart / stroller?
> I can pay for these clothes or you can pay for the designer ones. It's your choice.

"Never tell a stubborn child what to do.
Instead, describe what you are willing to do or allow."

Cheers,
Andrea

Thursday, April 10, 2014

L & L session 3 ~ Tomorrow Fri 9:15 AM at "Setting Limits Without Waging War" at Springmont

Don't Confuse the "Uh, Oh, Song" with Time-Out

Hi L & L parents, 
We will be going over the "uh oh song" tomorrow, which is described below as well as differentiated from a time out. Please note you can listen, vs read, the below parenting tip. Did any of you sign up via www.loveandlogic.com to receive weekly emails? There is also a 25% off special going on in case you want to get a cd, or download. In addition to the "uh oh song," we will learn about enforceable statements and strategic training sessions. Hope to see the majority of you, who are not away on Spring Break. Also, please bring back the CD's, if done listening. If not, you are welcome to keep until our next session, in two weeks. Any feedback on experimenting with the energy drain technique? I have a great cd on that. By the way, graduates welcome for Free, and a couple spots available for a drop in session ($20 for 2 hr session). 
Cheers,
Andrea 

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Love and Logic Institute, Inc." <user-8981@golfmnb.com>
Date: April 9, 2014 at 12:32:46 PM EDT
To: "Andrea Gooldy" <andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>
Subject: Don't Confuse the "Uh, Oh, Song" with Time-Out
Reply-To: "No Reply" <noreply@loveandlogic.com>

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Click to play
 
 
 
 
Writing about two-year-old twins, one of our followers says, "It seems lately that the tools we have used in the past are just not relating to them anymore. Our version of the 'Uh, Oh, Song' and removing them from a situation (time-out) is not relating to them these past two weeks. With them everything is, 'No.' Any suggestions?"
 
The solution to this problem is the consistent use of the "Uh, Oh, Song" applied exactly as prescribed instead of a version of the technique.
 
If you find it not being effective, ask yourself the following questions:
  1. Am I actually singing instead of talking? Singing "Uh, oh," instead of saying it indicates that the problem is the child's problem, not the parent's problem.
  2. Is the child staying away from the family until perfectly calm, regardless of the amount of time it takes?
  3. Am I using the egg timer after the child proves to be calm?
  4. Is the "egg timer time" adequate? In the event that the process doesn't seem to get the desired results, lengthen the amount of "egg timer time." Strong-willed children often need more time.
 Many parents confuse the "Uh, Oh, Song" with "time-out." However, the above elements are not included in "time-out" and that is the reason why it has limited effectiveness.
 
The "Uh, Oh, Song" includes a number of solid psychological concepts, and was developed to:
  1. Help parents establish themselves as loving authority figures.
  2. Help parents establish loving limits and boundaries.
  3. Help parents simplify their job. Use this technique for every undesirable behavior. It even should be used for misbehaviors that no child has dreamed up yet. And it should definitely be applied when a youngster says, "No!"
  4. Use with children ages 1 to 5.
Hear the "Uh, Oh, Song," modeled on the audio CD or download, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers.
 
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
 
Jim Fay
 
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