Awww, this quote makes me laugh and certainly resonates with me.
"Recently a young mother asked for advice. What, she wanted to know, was she to do with a 7-year-old who was obstreperous, outspoken, and inconveniently willful? "Keep her," I replied." -Anna Quindlen
Just as Love and Logic repeatedly says: any child 'worth keeping', is going test, push limits, and challenge us. And to look at our kids as scientists whose job it is to do experiments! I am smiling now thinking of an experiment that a girlfriend's 3 1/2 year creative, strong willed son performed just last wk on their kitchen floor w/barbeque sauce and guacomole!! Yes he learned if you make a big mess, you have to clean it up. And sometimes you have to use your own money to replace item used/wasted. And may even have to go to the store with mom instead of playground/acquarium/swimming, to buy the item that the family is now out of! Please read on for the Screamfree Parenting Tip below. Please let me know if want assistance creating some logical appropriate consequences intended to teach / guide your child/children! And delivered with empathy first before the consequence.
May 19, 2010 | Here's your daily parenting tip from ScreamFree
"Recently a young mother asked for advice. What, she wanted to know, was she to do with a 7-year-old who was obstreperous, outspoken, and inconveniently willful? "Keep her," I replied."
-Anna Quindlen
Parenting Tip: We want our children to be considerate of others and mindful of their manners. But, we must not forget that this is only ONE of the things we want for our children. We also want them to be independent and brave. We want them to be able to stand up for themselves and for others.
If you have a strong willed child, be grateful. Rejoice in that. Don’t take it personally when they test out their will on you. Don’t take it upon yourself to “break them” like a horse. Your job is to guide them and teach them the best ways to use that strong will for things that are just and good. Let them know when they’ve crossed the line, but do so with consequences and without malice. Champion their courage while guiding their paths – we’ll all be better off with a generation like this than one who is mindlessly obedient.
-Jenny Runkel
Director of Content for The ScreamFree Institute
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Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Daily Parenting Reflection: Give Yourself a Time-Out
Hey Mom's & Dad's!!!
How do you refuel?? Reading, gardening, working out, meeting w/a friend, watching your fav show, being out in nature, meditating, etc.? Love to hear what you do to take a time-out to recharge....as Screamfree parenting teaches we must practice putting our "Oxygen Mask on First" to be the best person & parent we can be. Why is self-care so challenging in our culture esp for us women?? It certainly does not come naturally to me. Instead easiest for me to do, do & do for others, then become totally exhausted, cranky, resentful & no fun to be around. Plus my son seems to model my crankiness too and my hubby!! I'm starting to say No to others & my blackberry. And finally Yes to me & my priorities. I fall off the self-care wagon often; however, I'm happy to just be in the self-care game finally! Check out the below daily reflection from an amazing counselor and author, Heather Forbes. Today just do one thing that refuels you even if just a 15min walk, a Starbucks coffee or phone call w/a cherished friend. I just worked out for my refueling.
Andrea
Andrea L Gooldy, M.S.
Counselor
Parent Coach & Workshop Facilitator
Independent Love and Logic Facilitator 'Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!'
Certified Screamfree Parenting Leader
AndreaParentCoach@gmail.com
404-932-9393
Check out the latest on my Blog!
www.andreaparentcoach.blogspot.com
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
From: Heather T Forbes LCSW
Date: Tue, 25 May 2010 10:54:36 -0400 (EDT)
To:
Subject: Heather's Daily Reflection
You can only expect your child to be as regulated as you are. If you are dysregulated, take a time-out for yourself. Give yourself time to refuel when you become emotionally, physically, and spiritually overwhelmed.
Press on Andrea,
Heather T. Forbes, L.C.S.W.
author of:
Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Volumes 1 and 2
Dare to Love
www.beyondconsequences.com
How do you refuel?? Reading, gardening, working out, meeting w/a friend, watching your fav show, being out in nature, meditating, etc.? Love to hear what you do to take a time-out to recharge....as Screamfree parenting teaches we must practice putting our "Oxygen Mask on First" to be the best person & parent we can be. Why is self-care so challenging in our culture esp for us women?? It certainly does not come naturally to me. Instead easiest for me to do, do & do for others, then become totally exhausted, cranky, resentful & no fun to be around. Plus my son seems to model my crankiness too and my hubby!! I'm starting to say No to others & my blackberry. And finally Yes to me & my priorities. I fall off the self-care wagon often; however, I'm happy to just be in the self-care game finally! Check out the below daily reflection from an amazing counselor and author, Heather Forbes. Today just do one thing that refuels you even if just a 15min walk, a Starbucks coffee or phone call w/a cherished friend. I just worked out for my refueling.
Andrea
Andrea L Gooldy, M.S.
Counselor
Parent Coach & Workshop Facilitator
Independent Love and Logic Facilitator 'Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!'
Certified Screamfree Parenting Leader
AndreaParentCoach@gmail.com
404-932-9393
Check out the latest on my Blog!
www.andreaparentcoach.blogspot.com
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
From: Heather T Forbes LCSW
Date: Tue, 25 May 2010 10:54:36 -0400 (EDT)
To:
Subject: Heather's Daily Reflection
You can only expect your child to be as regulated as you are. If you are dysregulated, take a time-out for yourself. Give yourself time to refuel when you become emotionally, physically, and spiritually overwhelmed.
Press on Andrea,
Heather T. Forbes, L.C.S.W.
author of:
Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Volumes 1 and 2
Dare to Love
www.beyondconsequences.com
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