L & L Session 3 * "Avoiding Power Struggles" By Gi

Good Rainy Afternoon L & L parents,
I guess rain is better than snow? Anything is better than the craziness of last Tues afternoon / evening. I plan to get to class early, around 630, if anyone wants to meet up then. I know traffic will not be good :( Looking forward to catching up with you all tonight. Please make note of our remaining session dates:
Feb 11th : Session 4 - enforceable statements
Feb 18th : Session 5 - the energy drain

In this evening's session, we will learn how to create and give effective choices. Please bring your workbooks so we can do some of the exercises during class. During class, we can prepare a list of possible choices. I want each one of you to leave the session having at least two choices to immediately give your child or children. It's time to start experimenting to see which choices work and which don't.

** See how many choices you can give during the day **
Would you prefer to write the choices in your workbook, or on a sticky note?? You decide.

» The Science of Control «
The more we share, the more we have. The less control we share, the less we have.

We can either share control on our terms, or force our kids to take it on their terms.

~ Each choice we give our kids is like a little "deposit" into their subconscious "savings account of control." Even when choices seem small and a bit silly, they can be very powerful. This is because choices create situations requiring children to think. ~

Here are some examples of possible choices:
"Do you want to eat a snack in the car, or eat as soon as we get there, before you play?"
"Are you going to put your shirt on first or your pants on first?"
"Do you want to wear your coat or carry it?"
"Do you want the blue cup or the red one?"
"Do you want to leave the playground in two mins or in five minutes?"
"Are you going to brush your teeth in your bathroom or mommy's bathroom?"
"Would you rather play nicely here while I am on the phone (or computer, making dinner, etc) or be noisy in your room?"
"Do you want to walk next to me while we shop or sit in the shopping cart."
"Do you want to get dressed quickly by yourself or do you want me to help you?"
"Would you rather clean your room this morning or this afternoon?"

Love and Logic Guidelines for choices:
¤ Give 99% of choices when things are going smoothly.
¤ Provide choices only on issues that are not dangerous and don't create a problem for anyone else on the planet.
¤ Always offer two options, each choice that makes you happy.
¤ In ten seconds flat, choose for the child if he or she doesn't.

As Jim & Charles Fay write in their book 'Love and Logic' Magic for Early Childhood ~ Practical Parenting from birth to 6 yrs old:
"Wouldn't it be great if your children could learn, early on, that every choice they make affects the quality of their lives? A combination of Love and Logic can create this learning now, while they are still young."