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Writing about two-year-old twins, one of our followers says, "It seems lately that the tools we have used in the past are just not relating to them anymore. Our version of the 'Uh, Oh, Song' and removing them from a situation (time-out) is not relating to them these past two weeks. With them everything is, 'No.' Any suggestions?"
The solution to this problem is the consistent use of the "Uh, Oh, Song" applied exactly as prescribed instead of a version of the technique.
If you find it not being effective, ask yourself the following questions:
- Am I actually singing instead of talking? Singing "Uh, oh," instead of saying it indicates that the problem is the child's problem, not the parent's problem.
- Is the child staying away from the family until perfectly calm, regardless of the amount of time it takes?
- Am I using the egg timer after the child proves to be calm?
- Is the "egg timer time" adequate? In the event that the process doesn't seem to get the desired results, lengthen the amount of "egg timer time." Strong-willed children often need more time.
Many parents confuse the "Uh, Oh, Song" with "time-out." However, the above elements are not included in "time-out" and that is the reason why it has limited effectiveness.
The "Uh, Oh, Song" includes a number of solid psychological concepts, and was developed to:
- Help parents establish themselves as loving authority figures.
- Help parents establish loving limits and boundaries.
- Help parents simplify their job. Use this technique for every undesirable behavior. It even should be used for misbehaviors that no child has dreamed up yet. And it should definitely be applied when a youngster says, "No!"
- Use with children ages 1 to 5.
Hear the "Uh, Oh, Song," modeled on the audio CD or download, Toddlers and Pre-Schoolers.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
Jim Fay
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