Monday, January 12, 2015

Instilling Perseverance in Children by Leah Davies, M.Ed.

I know the below suggestions are geared towards the classroom, but a lot of this dialogue / discussion could be done at home, during nite nite time, on road trips, while taking walks/playing/ doing activities, when extended family are around (we call it Gram and Papa stories), etc. Just some parenting food for thought. Stories teach in a way that most people, particularly kids can hear them and actually recall. Love to hear if any of you give some of these activities a try! Andrea 


Instilling Perseverance in Children 

By Leah Davies, M.Ed.

Perseverance means having the self-discipline to continue a task in spite of being confronted with difficulties. Albert Einstein said, "It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."

The following are classroom activities that promote perseverance:

1. Lead a discussion on what perseverance means and does not mean. For example: keep working until the assignment is complete, instead of trying only a few times and quitting. With the help of students list the steps that are needed to learn a new skill such as riding a bicycle, learning to swim or memorizing the multiplication table.

2. Read the following: Abraham Lincoln said, "People are about as happy as they make their minds up to be." Mr. Lincoln experienced successes in his life, but he also failed in business in 1831, was defeated for legislature in 1832, lost his bid for congress in 1843, lost his run for the Senate in 1855, and was defeated for Vice President in 1856. Yet, in 1860, Mr. Lincoln was elected President of the United States. List and discuss the qualities he must have had. For example: positive attitude, tenacity, diligence, courage, boldness, self-discipline, and determination.

3. Have each student write a report on a person of their choosing who demonstrated perseverance. Some examples are: Albert Einstein, Helen Keller, Thomas Edison, Harriet Tubman, Franklin D. Roosevelt, Mother Teresa, Madame (Marie) Curie, Ray Charles, Rosa Parks, or Christopher Reeve.

Have them answer the following questions in their report:

  • How did he or she show perseverance? 
  • In what ways are you like the person in your report? 
  • In what ways are you different from that person? 
  • What did you learn about yourself from writing the report?

4. Read and perhaps act out "The Tortoise and the Hare," "The Little Engine That Could," or another story of your choosing. Have children divide into groups to write a simple poem, song or a short story that exemplifies perseverance. Have them perform their works for each other or for children in lower grades.

5. Have the students locate newspaper or magazine articles concerning a person who demonstrated perseverance after experiencing failure. Ask them to report what they learned.

6. Have the students write or draw a picture illustrating a time when they persevered and succeeded even though they felt like giving up. Then discuss the feelings associated with their achievement, for example: pride, happiness, self-confidence, and self-esteem.

7. Use puppets or students to role play situations where individuals demonstrate perseverance. Examples: a child who stutters and keeps trying to speak fluently, a child who has learning problems yet puts forth much effort to learn, a student in a wheelchair who tries to do new things.

8. Lead a discussion on how negative comments from others can influence a student's attitude toward learning. Discuss what children can do to prevent these remarks from hindering their efforts. Talk about ways one can be successful in spite of them. (See Encouraging Thoughts.)

9. Ask a respected, community member who overcame obstacles to speak to your students about his or her life. Ask the individual to discuss the principles that led to his accomplishments. Then have the children compose and send a thank you card or letter.

10. Ask the students to make out a list of things that are difficult for them and easy for them. Then discuss the fact that every child has strengths and weaknesses, but if the children keep trying they will most likely be successful.

11. Brainstorm and list obstacles, habits, and attitudes that prevent people from accomplishing their goals. Then have the children write down or draw a picture of what they want to be or do when they grow up. Divide into pairs and have them share their ideas. As a group list the general steps they will need to take to fulfill their dreams.

12. Have the students create a list of questions that they would like to ask an older relative or family friend. For example:

  • What was the most important thing that you learned from your mother or father? 
  • What values are most important in your life today? 
  • What are you most proud of doing? 
  • Name a mistake you made. 
  • What did you learn from your mistake? 
  • Can you describe a time when you kept trying even though you felt like giving up?

    After completing the interview have the children write a report on what they learned. 

Ways Educators Can Encourage Perseverance in Students

1. Believe in each child's ability to achieve.

2. Expect them to finish what they start.

3. Avoid accepting excuses for unfinished work.

4. Give positive feedback when a child puts forth extra effort.

5. Help students realize that everyone makes mistakes, but what is important is to keep trying. (See the Kelly Bear Behavior book.)

6. Teach children how to regroup and start over.

7. Motivate them to try new things.

8. Encourage children to take responsibility for themselves and make constructive choices.
 

Since perseverance is a necessary ingredient for student achievement, it needs to be encouraged. Helping children learn to be patient and to persist in spite of failure are attributes that will contribute to their future success.


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Used by permission of the author, Leah Davies, and selected from the Kelly Bear website [www.kellybear.com], 8/05.

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Thursday, December 4, 2014

Parenting the Love and Logic Way Last Session ~ Tomorrow, Fri Dec 5th ~ Empowering Problem Solving & Chores

Parenting the Love and Logic Way Session 6 ~ Guiding Children to Solve Their Own Problems and Teaching Kids to Complete Chores...Without Reminders and Without Pay

Hi Class,
Seems likes it's been forever since we have met. Tomorrow will be discussing how to guide our kids to own and solve their own problems then go over strategies for chore completion, without nagging (Wow, what a novel idea ~ I need to take notes on this as well!!).  Next, I plan to play a video on the power of joyful modeling, from the L & L Early Childhood Curriculum, which is particularly effective with younger children. Or as a review, we can also watch a video on giving effective choices and/or enforceable statements, depending on what the group is wanting more support on! 

Parenting Food For Thought:
When we solve all of our children's problems, they become insecure and resentful.

When we guide them toward solving their own problems, they become secure and respectful. 

Wise parents only step in when they are certain their child has a problem that's too big or dangerous to solve on their own.

Why Chores??? Chores help kids know that they are important, needed and loved members of the family!

Some questions for you to ponder.....

What will leave our kids feeling better about themselves and their family?

What do you want them to believe about helping others?

What do you want them to believe about relationships?

What attitude do you want them to have to go to work each day?

In this session we will learn:
• Steps for getting resistant kids   to do chores
• What to do if our kids refused to forget to do them
• Why chores help kids feel loved and needed
• Why is better to call chores "contributions"
• More ideas about raising happy and responsible kids

We will also go over how to handle contributions not getting done and look at effective versus ineffective consequences.

Effective consequences meet the following five guidelines:
1. They are logical.
2. They are provided with love.
3. They are enforceable.
4. They are preceded and provided with very few words.
5. When they are over, they are over.

During class, we will do a workbook exercise on effective versus ineffective consequences.

Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow morning! Love to hear any feedback on L & L CD's you have been listening to.....plus how your practicing your L & L skills has been going or not going. Remember, holidays, when everyone is off schedule, little routine and more factors to consider, such as additional family and/or friends is always challenging. Hang in there and reach out for support. You are not alone!! It takes a Village to be the Best Parent we can be:) 
Andrea

Andrea L Gooldy
Parent Educator and Coach
404-932-9393 

Thursday, November 20, 2014

Fwd: Valuing Parenting Education

How wonderful to have parenting resources offered free of charge!!! Wish we had a Center for Parenting Education here in Atlanta. Maybe one day:)

From: "The Center for Parenting Education" <info@parentingedu.org>
Date: November 20, 2014 at 6:00:31 AM EST
To: <andreagooldy@gmail.com>
Subject: Valuing Parenting Education
Reply-To: info@parentingedu.org

The Center for Parenting Education

 

The Center for
Parenting Education

1863 Old York Road
Suite B
Abington, PA 19001
215-657-5720
 


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Supporting Families through Parenting Education



Why classes in parenting education? Who needs that and why? After all, we were all children at one point, raised by parents or other adults – doesn't that give us the skills we need to raise our own children? 

Well, not necessarily. Sometimes, people's first and automatic response is not what is in the best interests of their children. Sometimes, there are things that their parents did when raising them that could be improved upon. Sometimes, parents just don't have the knowledge of child development to understand their children's behavior. Or they are not familiar with the great variety of parenting tips and tools to pull out of their "parenting tool belt" to respond effectively to challenging behaviors. Or maybe, they don't have a supportive network that can help them through the tough times with their kids.

At The Parenting Center, we believe that it is never too late to make changes to improve children's chances of succeeding in life, and that no matter how good a job parents are doing in raising their children, there is always the opportunity to learn more, to reflect on the relationship with their children, and to make improvements in their parenting approach.

Here are some of the heartfelt comments we have heard from parents who have used our resources:

  • "The Parenting Center classes provided me with information and advice that I may have never been aware of as a first time mom. It eased my fears and gave me confidence that I was doing a good job even when some of the days seemed endless!"
  • "I am grateful that you are dedicated to helping parents like me who sometimes feel desperate, anxious and frustrated. Thanks for providing a support system that can be utilized at any given moment. Whenever I have a specific problem or issue that I want to get ideas about, I know I can always contact you for help."
  • "I love your Center. What a great resource. I am so glad you put all the information online and for free. The webinars are great since I live so far away. I feel like I am attending in person and in the same room as the teachers and the other parents. It was so helpful that the teachers gave word for word examples of what to say to my kids. You gave me the tools to help my children."
  • "I want to tell you that I think about what I learned in your workshop almost every day. What a gift."
  • "I found your website this morning. I'll tell you, I loved it. It was fun and amazing. I understood it so easily. Thank you for putting these classes online and free of charge. Having them available is priceless."
  • "I learned that when my child gets angry, it is not a personal attack against me. It is just where he is at now in his life. He doesn't know how to express his anger in a better way, and I can teach him how to do that. I learned how important it is for me to give myself time to take a moment to calm down during heated moments before I respond. You gave me ways to react that won't damage him."
  • "It's so great to have you there online. Whenever I am struggling to figure out how to handle a situation with one of my kids, I can just go to your website and find the information I need to do the right thing."

Some of these parents took our classes in a face-to-face setting. More and more are accessing our very large library of articles posted on our website and have attended our live online classes. These web-based resources are available free of charge, 24/7, whenever a parent has the time and the need.

Through The Center for Parenting Education's materials and programs, parents are able to get the needed support to do the best they can to raise resilient, responsible, caring children who are able to meet life's inevitable challenges.

The Center's goal is to continue to give parents the information they need regardless of ability to pay. Please consider contributing to our efforts to provide low-cost or free parenting education.

To join us in supporting parents, click here to donate.

Wishing you and your family a joyous holiday season and a healthy and peaceful New Year from all of us at The Parenting Center!


Contributions of $45 or more entitle the donor to membership at The Center. All donations are tax deductible.



Visit our website to learn more about all programs and services that support families.

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Saturday, November 8, 2014

3 Video Games That May Build Executive Function

Hi Friends,
I know we still need to limit screen time, but at least these 3 games supposedly build executive function. Never been a minecraft fan, despite Christopher's fondness of the game, but apparently playing might actually improve player's focus, working memory, and other executive functions. I am going to look into Bad Piggies, and Roblox. Maybe I will even try them in an attempt to build my executive function!!! Please let me know if anyone else tries these games and/or what your thoughts are on the above. 
Cheers,
Andrea 

3 Video Games That Build Better Thinking

Video games aren't all bad! Check out these three expert-recommended video games to help your ADHD child improve focus, concentration, and planning skills.

 3810  23  40  28 + More PrintPrint
ADHD children playing video games to improve focus and executive function

Are you concerned that your eight-year-old's video game play is turning his mind to mush? I get it. But what if I told you that playing Minecraft and other skill-building video games might actually improve his focus, working memory, and other executive functions? 

Watch your child play for a few minutes, and you'll see that he plans, organizes, and problem-solveswhile engaged in a video game — skills we'd all like our ADHD kids to develop. Wouldn't it be great if he could transfer those game-playing skills to everyday tasks?

He can, with a little help from you. Use the following three steps to tap into the skill-building potential of video games:

1. Help your child identify the thinking and problem-solving skills that are necessary to play the game.

2. Encourage metacognition and reflection by talking about how these skills are used in the real world.

3. Engage your child in activities that use these skills, and then talk with your child about how the skills connect to game play.

Here are some popular games you can use to encourage your child to connect game-based skills to real-world skills:

BAD PIGGIES

> Game description: Bad Piggies is a puzzle game, from the makers of the popular Angry Birds, that challenges players to build contraptions that carry the "piggies" to their destinations. At the start of each stage, you're shown the level layout, given a collection of parts, and sent on your way. It's up to you to invent a solution to each puzzle — there isn't only one right answer.

> Skills a child uses: Bad Piggies requires a child to use different strategies in order to advance. The player needs to think flexibly and consider several ways of escorting the piggies through the stage. He may be discouraged at a few failed attempts, but perseverance pays off.

> Skills to practice outside the game: Show your child that it is OK to make mistakes. Take a wrong turn on an outing on purpose or mix up the ingredients in a recipe. Show him how to keep calm while making the necessary corrections.

ROBLOX

> Game description: Roblox is an online virtual playground and workshop. Players are given basic tools with which to construct buildings, machines, and other creations to explore the Roblox world.

> Skills a child uses: Players use working-memory skills when they learn and remember how to use the different tools for arranging and building objects and altering their appearance. To improve working memory, explore the different features in Roblox Studio with your child, and encourage her to become familiar with the location and layout of the available tools and instruments. Practice working-memory skills in the game by building a small house.

> Skills to practice outside the game: To build working memory, do a step-by-step project that requires remembering what you have already done, such as following a recipe or planting a garden.

MINECRAFT

> Game description: Players are placed in a borderless, randomly generated land with no supplies, directions, or objectives. They have to decide what to do and how to do it. Players collect materials from the world around them in order to "craft" items and build whatever their minds can imagine. 

> Skills a child uses: Minecraft improves planning skills because players need to set and achieve goals within a time frame. As your child starts the game, he'll need to collect mined materials, build a workbench on which to craft items, and construct a shelter. Discuss with him the need to focus on the task at hand in order to achieve his goals before the monsters arrive at nightfall.

> Skills to practice outside the game: Practice planning skills by deciding together what your child needs for school. Begin with a list of essential supplies — pencils, notebooks, markers, backpack, and lunch box — then list the other materials or things she'd like to take to school. Decide which items to purchase. Encourage your child to make the lists on his own, and to determine the most important items to buy.

 

What do you think of this article? Share your comments on www.ADDConnect.com, ADDitude's community site. Check out the new ADHD Medication User Reviews and the ADHD Adults Support Group. Your fellow ADDers want to hear from you!


Andrea L Gooldy
Parent Educator and Coach
404-932-9393 

Begin forwarded message:

From: "ADDitude magazine" <Newsletter@additudemag.com>
Date: November 8, 2014 at 8:08:44 AM EST
To: <andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>
Subject: ADHD Gift Ideas: 3 Video Games That Build Executive Function

To view this e-mail as a web page, go here.

Try a Free Issue of ADDitude Magazine
11.8.14


3 Brain-Building Video Games Parenting 
This holiday season, fulfill your child's wish list and improve executive function skills at the same time. Build focus, organization, and problem-solving skills with these 
expert-recommended video games for kids with ADHD. »

  

>>Related Executive Function Disorder, Explained: What parents need to know about EFD. »

>>Related 4 Brain-Training Therapies: Learn how to train your ADDer's brain to focus -- naturally. »

>>Related Improve Working Memory: Exercises to make the most of your mind and remember more. »

 

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Herbs, vitamins, and minerals that give your brain a boost. »

 

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Is your kid a hitter? An 8-point plan to rein in ADHD aggression. »

 

 
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Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Closet Listening Positive Discipline

Hello L & L parents,
I love these tool cards. And Love Positive Discipline. You can get get these tools on your iPhone via an app. Christy brought these cards into our class 2 Wks ago. This strategy works with spouses too, or anyone that is important to us!!! Giving our time shows that the receiver is a priority to us, particularly when we truly don't have an agenda, other than to be connected and find out how they are. So simple in theory, yet challenging to practice regularly, as with most things in life. Please let me know if anyone has success with closet listening, and/or how giving effective choices is going. You can also click below for a 90 second recording describing this concept. 
Keep practicing:)
Andrea 

Andrea L Gooldy
Parent Educator and Coach
404-932-9393 

Begin forwarded message:

From: Positive Discipline <noreply@blogger.com>
Date: October 20, 2014 at 5:22:36 PM EDT
To: Andreaparentcoach@gmail.com
Subject: Positive Discipline with Dr. Jane Nelsen

Positive Discipline

Positive Discipline with Dr. Jane Nelsen


Closet Listening

Posted: 20 Oct 2014 12:27 PM PDT


Have you ever tried talking with your children only to be frustrated by one word, unenthusiastic, totally bored responses? Many parents become discouraged when they ask their children, "How was your day?" and their children say, "Fine." Then they ask, "What did you do today?" The response is, "Nothing."

Try closet listening.

Closet listening means you find times to be near your children, hoping they will talk with you, but not being obvious about it. I tried this with my daughter, Mary, when she was a teenager. While Mary was getting ready for school, fixing her hair and makeup at the bathroom mirror, I would go in and sit on the edge of the tub. The first time I did this, Mary asked, "What do you want, Mama?" I said, "Nothing, except that I  just want to spend a few minutes with you." Mary waited to see what would come next. Nothing did. She finished fixing her hair and makeup and said, "Bye, Mama."

I continued to do this every morning. It wasn't long before Mary got used to having me there. I didn't ask any questions, but before long, Mary would chat away about all the things that were going on in her life.

Children often feel interrogated. You may be ready to talk when your child isn't. Experiment by serving cookies without asking, "How was your day?" Just sit there. Perhaps children who resist questions will respond when you make yourself available and just listen.

Click on the link below to listen to Dr. Jane Nelsen talk about Closet Listening


Click Here if you do not see the MP3 player.

This posting includes an audio/video/photo media file: Download Now

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Parenting the L & L Way ~ Session 4 Avoiding Power Struggles

Tomorrow, Fri Oct 17th, Session 4 :  Avoiding Power-Struggles via Effective Choices at Springmont School @
915 AM

Morning L & L Parents,
Come find out tomorrow how we can actually gain more control by giving some of it away. Curious if anyone has been listening to the CD's I have loaned out. No pressure. Just pop in for a couple mins, when get a moment.  I love hearing what you get from listening on your own. In Friday's session, we will learn more tips for setting limits without going to war. The main two benefits of giving choices : 
1 - Doing so ups the odds of cooperation from our kids.
2 - It gives them plenty of decision making practice. 

"When we try to hoard control, we lose it. When we share control, we gain it."

Please make note of our remaining session dates: Fri Dec 5th
Dec 5th   :  Session 5 

  *** Thinking about adding an Extra session in Nov since such a long break between sessions and to catch up since videos are so long ~ please let me know if interested, and if you are, if you can come on Mon morning Nov 3rd  for the extra session as I already have the conference room reserved at Springmont for my next series. Or, if this does not work for the majority, I have another space we can meet at, on a Fri am, over in Perimeter area off Hammond & Peachtree Dunwoody Rd so about 3 to 4 miles from Springmont ***

Rules for Providing Choices:
* Only give choices that fit your value system.
* Give 99% of choices when things are going smoothly. 
* Give choices before your child becomes resistant.
* For each choice, give two options, each of which you like.
* Don't be afraid to say, "I usually give choices, but not this time."
* If your child doesn't choose very quickly, choose for him or her.

Some examples of effective choices: 
> Will you be wearing your coat or carrying it?
> Are you going to take a shower or a bath?
> Will you be brushing your top teeth first or your bottom ones first?
> Do you want the blue sippy cup or the red one?
> Do you want to leave the playground in two mins or in five minutes?
> Do you prefer you to walk next to me while we shop or sit in the shopping cart / stroller?
> Do you want me to change your diaper in your room or here in the living room?
> I can pay for these clothes or you can pay for the designer ones. It's your choice. 

"Never tell a stubborn child what to do.
Instead, describe what you are willing to do or allow."

Cheers! So happy to finally have done cooler fall boot weather👢
Andrea 

Andrea L Gooldy
Parent Educator and Coach
404-932-9393 

Thursday, October 9, 2014

Parenting the Love and Logic Way ~ Session 3 : Fri

Parenting the Love and Logic Way ~ Session 3 : Tomorrow Friday 9:15 AM April Oct 10th at Springmont ~ enforceable statements, the "uh oh song" and the strategic training session🌟

This session is about "Setting Limits Without Waging War"

Hello to my wonderful Love and Logic parents,

If anybody wants to meet at nine to start the video from last week that we missed, I will go early. Please just let me know. Probably best if you text me to advise your early arrival as I see my texts quicker than my emails. Ok?

"Never tell a stubborn child (or spouse) what to do. Describe what you're willing to do or allow instead."

We will learn....
• The secret to setting  enforceable limits
• How to teach kids to listen the first time we ask
• A powerful technique for very young children
• And more ideas for taking good care of ourselves

Please bring your workbooks so we can practice turning our words into gold, aka enforceable statements. Enforceable statements often start with :
"You may ......"
" I will ......"
" Feel free to ....."

When we use enforceable statements, we dramatically increase the odds that our kids will listen very carefully when we open our mouths. 

Unenforceable: 
"Use your manners!"
Enforceable: "I will do things for kids that use 'please' and 'thank you'"

Unenforceable: "Get in your bed and lay down!"
Enforceable: "I read when you're laying down and quiet"

Unenforceable: "Lay down so I can change your diaper. " 
Enforceable: "You may go outside to play after you have a new diaper on."

Unenforceable: "Don't be disrespectful to me!"
Enforceable: "I will be happy to do the extra things I do for you when I feel treated with respect."

Please let me know if anyone has read the Empathy book to your kiddos. You can borrow it, or if you like, buy it from me for what I paid, which is $10.95. Just thinking they would be good gifts for family, friends and new parents or a treat for your family 👭👬👪. It is about teaching our children what empathy looks like and how to use it, but also reminding ourselves as to what it looks like as well....empathy is a skill, that we need to learn and then practice, over and over again.

Looking forward to seeing you all tomorrow am! 

Andrea 
404-932-9393 


Andrea L Gooldy
Parent Educator and Coach
404-932-9393