Hi Screamfree Moms!
This one hits close to home for me. So much easier and quicker, in the short term, to do for my son instead of teaching him, patiently and calmly, how to do things for himself. For example, when we get home from school, I often just carry his jacket, water bottle & lunch box out of the car instead of asking him to do it or if he refuses or ignores me, saying something like: "Boys who help put their stuff away get to play outside for 10 mins or play inside with their blocks" or "Feel free to play as soon as you've put your lunch box and water bottle on the counter. Can you do it alone or do want me to help you?" So, this afternoon, I am going to prep him on way home by giving him my expectations (prior to his flying out of car as soon as park in garage) and then follow through if he doesn't carry his things inside instead of just doing it myself. And if I forget, I'll have another chance to practice tomorrow!
During our two week break, please reach out to me and the group or just me with updates, challenges, successes, etc. Remember, we all need support, and encouragement as well fresh ideas from other parents who aren't attached/so close to the situation like we are. Additionally, it's beneficial for our children to see us asking for help and still learning because no one has all the answers; except maybe those that don't have children yet!
Thank you for reading!
Andrea
From: The ScreamFree Institute <info@screamfree.com>
Date: Mon, 4 Apr 2011 03:00:33 -0500 (CDT)
To: <andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>
ReplyTo: The ScreamFree Institute <info@screamfree.com>
Subject: ScreamFree Tip of the Day: Forget Jeeves, Just Ask Mom or Dad
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| Share with a Friend | April 4, 2011 | Here's your daily parenting tip from ScreamFree | | "What the vast majority of U.S. children needs is to stop being pampered, stop being indulged, stop being chauffeured, stop being catered to. In the final analysis it is not what you do for your children but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings." -Ann Landers, U.S. advice columnist (1918-2002) |
| Jenny's Take: We live such hectic lives that more often than not, it is easier (and much faster) for us to do small things for our children instead of allowing them to learn those things along the road of self-sufficiency. I am as guilty as the next person for this very vice. Just last night, Hannah sat down to finish a homework assignment without the book she needed. All it took was one whiny word from her about it, and I was off and running to fetch her bookbag. I shoved it to her in frustration, thinking, “Why doesn’t she do anything for herself?” I should be looking for opportunities to expand her independence, even though it takes an exponential amount of time and effort to do so. I should ignore her complaints about having to do things for herself, because deep down, we both know it’s better for her in the long run. -Jenny Runkel, Director Content & Co-author of ScreamFree Marriage | |
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