Hi again A,
I am going to use this tonite, when my cutiepie says "I don't want to stop playing, help set table, shower, go nite nite", or in the morning if he says "I want to wear the same clothes (dirty) I wore the last two days" or "I don't like what you put in my lunch"
So I'll take deep breath or 5 deep breaths and say, as suggested below:
"Yes, and..." so that you can respond rather than react to the situation at hand.
I also say, from Love and Logic, "I Love you too much to argue" or "I know".
Andrea L Gooldy, M.S. Parent Educator 404.932.9393
From: The ScreamFree Institute <c+sf@trusted-sender.convio.net>
Sender: The ScreamFree Institute<info@screamfree.com>
Date: Thu, 23 Aug 2012 10:00:48 -0500 (CDT)
To: <andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>
ReplyTo: The ScreamFree Institute <info@screamfree.com>
Subject: Anger Management
| | | "Anger is never without reason, but seldom with a good one." -Benjamin Franklin, Founding Father, inventor, all around genius (1706-1790) | | | | | Rarely does anything good and productive come out of anger. I think most of us know that, but to quote U2, "we get caught in the moment, and we can't get out of it. " I’m going to teach you a phrase that will rock your world. It’s simple. It’s powerful. Yet it is very, very difficult to say to yourself in the heat of the moment. Are you ready? Here it is… “Yes, and…” That’s it. Ok. Your son is actively ignoring your calls to dinner as he finishes “Freebird” on Guitar Hero for the umpteenth time. You feel infuriated. "Yes,": Yes being ignored is irritating. It’s a behavior that you do not like to see. "And?" It is still up to you to behave in a way that will actually build this relationship and teach him about respecting people’s time. Let’s face it. Our kids do stupid and irritating things all the time. Being ScreamFree doesn’t mean being emotion free. It means recognizing that you are more than the sum of your emotions. You are capable of choosing principle and acting with integrity instead of lashing out and then regretting it. The next time you feel anger, don’t immediately stifle it or give in to it. Instead, acknowledge it and remember that little phrase “Yes, and...” so that you can respond rather than react to the situation at hand. -Hal Runkel, LMFT, Author of ScreamFree Parenting & ScreamFree Parenting | |  
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