Andrea's Parenting Spot: February 2013

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Love and Logic Dates for Wknd Series @ the Concourse beg Sun March 17th

Hi Class,
Great to meet you all last Friday morning, and to have a graduate, Lauren, back in our class for a L & L refresher:) Have you been able to go brain dead then use an empathetic statement to neutralize whining or arguing?? Or at least thought about it as an option, even if it's after the situation has passed? Any success using your new empathetic statement? This evening when it was time for my 6 year old son's shower, which happens to be Very Low on his priority list as hygiene is not even on his radar yet (which is common for boys this age!!), he was stalling the process by sitting on the stairs and saying " I don't want to take a shower", I replied "I know, I know you don't like having to shower." Usually this works to absorb some of his feelings; however, this time he shot back in a taunting way "I know, I know." Hmm, that was interesting ~ I took a deep breath, and said nothing ~ I guess I probably went brain dead at that point. Again, before all my parenting class facilitator training, I definitely would have reacted not so calmly. And I still don't always respond in a calm manner ~ I still lose it, but thankfully not as often. In retrospect, I also could have said "I Love you too much to argue" ; however, I could tell my son was in a mood where best to say less or say nothing. So, I just walked up the stairs ahead of him and he slowly followed, saying "I am so tired, I just want to go nite nite." At that point, I just said "do you want to shower in your bathroom or mommy's?" He showered in our bathroom and everything was fine as he enjoys the shower, once he finally gets in!!

Some of you were interested in other upcoming series which would allow for your spouse to attend as well. As I mentioned, best if you can attend class together as it can be good quality couple time where learning together, without the kids!!! Here are the upcoming dates:

Sundays, March 17th - April 28th
Time : 2 to 4 pm
Where : CONCOURSE ATHLETIC CLUB 8 Concourse Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia 30328
Cost : $120 for course including Love and Logic workbook
» Discounted rate of $100 for
Concourse Members «

** Child care available at special rate of $5/hr per child **

Sunday 3/17 Session 1
Sunday 3/24 Session 2
* Skip Sun 3/31st & Sun 4/07 *
Sunday 4/14 Session 3
Sunday 4/21 Session 4
Sunday 4/28 Session 5

Love to hear how everyone is doing. I put everyone's email address on here so that you can reply back to all if wanting a group e-discussion, in order to share struggles, successes, questions, resources, etc.

Talk to you soon ~
Andrea

"Save your words for Happy times. The only time to Reason with a child is when he is happy and you are Happy."
Jim Fay in Avoiding Power Struggles with your Children Cd

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Love and Logic Tip ~ When Toddlers Hit

Hi there Class ~
Other than using the "Uh-oh" Song, these suggestions can apply to all ages, from toddlers to teens. As Dr Fay says below : "Our job as parents is to help them learn more peaceful ways of managing conflict." Please read below for tips to aid us in our job. We will go over the "Uh-oh" Song this Friday morning in L & L Session 2 plus do some role-play using this strategy as well as examples of how to teach problem-solving. As with every new skill, learning how to stay calm, when our children are not, takes a lot of practice. By us becoming more self-aware, and subsequently modeling self-awareness, we are teaching our lil mimics. Glad you're sharing your parenting journey with me:)

------Original Message------
From: Love and Logic Institute, Inc.
To: -AAndrea Gooldy
ReplyTo: Love and Logic Institute, Inc.
Subject: When Toddlers Hit
Sent: Dec 26, 2012 12:37 PM

Before I became a parent, I believed that my children would always solve their problems with words rather than fists.

Then I became a parent…and my kids hit me…and they hit each other.

Take heart. Practically all young children experiment with being aggressive…even when raised in loving, nonviolent homes. Our job as parents is to help them learn more peaceful ways of managing conflict. Listed below are a few tips:
Apply the "Uh Oh Song"

When your toddler hits, sing "Uh Oh," and carry them to their room, a safe highchair, a playpen, or stroller. If you are unfamiliar with this technique study our book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood. Pretend to be calm

The "Uh Oh Song" provides a practical strategy for replacing anger, lectures, threats, or spanking. Remember: The calmer you can look, the less likely your child will get hooked on seeing your face turn red. Teach problem-solving

When your child is calm, role-play more appropriate strategies for dealing with frustration, anger, or conflict. Give them some possible options: "Some kids decide to say 'I'm mad!' rather than hitting. Some kids decide to color with crayons when they get mad. Some kids decide to go in their room and yell at the mirror."

This type of teaching doesn't work quickly…but as they grow older, they will begin to learn that doing such things can help them stay out of trouble. Do your best to keep them fed and rested

Hungry toddlers misbehave. So do tired ones. Too frequently, small children suffer because their parents or daycare providers expect them to cope with unrealistically busy schedules. Let them see you getting upset AND see you handling it well.

There is nothing more powerful than backing our words with actions. What makes this attainable is remembering to take good care of ourselves so that we're not so likely to "lose it" in front of the kids.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

Dr. Charles Fay

Parents and Teachers
Don't miss Jim Fay in
Seattle, WA on Tuesday, 1/15
See Charles Fay in
Oklahoma City, OK on Thursday, 1/17.
Graduate-level credit and CEUs are available.
Register online or call
800-338-4065.
If we're not in your city, check out one of our
On-Demand Webinars.

Exclusive Member Discount

Love and Logic: Magic
for Early Childhood

This week save 25%
(Book or CD)

Discount price to Insider Club members only: $18.71
Regular Price $24.95

To shop our online store click on the link above, then
"Add to Cart." and enter the
coupon code "122612"

2013 Summer Conference
Cutting Edge Solutions to Today's Most Common Parenting and Educational Challenges
Do you like to have fun while learning new skills? If so, don't miss the opportunity to join us in Denver, CO for our 28th Annual Summer Conference.
June 20-22, 2013

17th Annual Administrators Conference
Creating a Love and Logic School Culture
Gain practical skills to take the stress out of running a school. Regardless of the discipline or instructional models you are using, Love and Logic techniques will enable your staff to implement them more effectively.
July 11-13, 2013
For helpful tips, special promotions, and event announcements, follow Love and Logic® on Twitter, become a fan on Facebook and pin us on Pinterest.
Funny Parenting Stories and Funny Stories from the Classroom: amusing audios available for your listening pleasure, compliments of Love and Logic. Visit this page to download and enjoy.

© 2012 Love and Logic Institute, Inc. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for forwarding and/or for a single photocopy or electronic reproduction of one email tip only. Please do not alter or modify. For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.

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Wednesday, February 13, 2013

L & L Tip ~ Emotional Self-Control: The Goal of Love and Logic

Good Afternoon Class,
Less than two days until our Love and Logic session 1, which is this Friday at 9:30am!! Just forwarding this weekly Love and Logic parenting tip in order to get your wheels turning. Throughout the whole course, we will be learning how to model and teach emotional control by using it ourselves. It's a journey and we need knowledge + support to move forward.....just like our children, we are "under construction" as well. If you want to sign up for these parenting tips yourself, go to www.loveandlogic.com and look on top right where says "Join Our Free Insider's Club" then enter your email address.
Happy hump day ~
Andrea

------Original Message------
From: Love and Logic Institute, Inc.
To: -AAndrea Gooldy
ReplyTo: Love and Logic Institute, Inc.
Subject: Emotional Self-Control: The Goal of Love and Logic
Sent: Feb 13, 2013 1:25 PM

The primary goal of the Love and Logic approach is NOT to make kids behave. Rather, our primary objective is to help them learn how to make themselves behave…so that they aren't dependent upon rules, regulations, laws, or incarceration to control their behavior.

At our Annual Love and Logic Summer Conference, Dr. Bob Sornson will share a variety of proven strategies for helping young people learn essential emotional self-control skills. These include:
Delayed gratification Empathy and social responsiveness The ability to calm oneself when experiencing strong emotions Cause-effect thinking Don't risk missing Bob's marvelous presentation. Sign up for this special event today. In the meantime, begin experimenting with one of the most powerful teaching tools offered by the Love and Logic approach: Allow your children (or your students) to overhear you talking about how you apply self-control. Examples include:
I saw this new TV that I really wanted, but I said to myself, "No. My old one is just fine. I'll just be all stressed out about how to pay for it." The other day one of my friends said something that really made me mad. I kept having to remind myself, "Stay calm. If I say something nasty, I'll feel horrible later." I always have an easier time being nice to difficult people when I remember to put myself in their shoes. Remember: Children are typically more likely to learn when they overhear these things rather than being lectured.

Thanks for reading! See you this summer. Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.

Dr. Charles Fay

Teachers and Parents
Don't miss Dr. Charles Fay in
Middleton, WI on Monday, 2/18.
See Jim Fay in
Salt Lake City, UT on Tuesday, 2/19.
Graduate-level credit and CEUs are available.
Register online or call
800-338-4065.
If we're not in your city, check out one of our
On-Demand Webinars.

Featured Selection

2013 Summer Conference
21st Century Solutions for Creating Respectful, Responsible and Self-Controlled Kids

View a clip that demonstrates one of the many powerful skills you'll learn at this event.

To register click on the link above, then input conference
attendee name(s) and
"Add to Cart."

17th Annual Administrators Conference
Creating a Love and Logic School Culture
Gain practical skills to take the stress out of running a school. Regardless of the discipline or instructional models you are using, Love and Logic techniques will enable your staff to implement them more effectively.
July 11-13, 2013

Parenting Classes
Looking for a local Love and Logic class? Visit this page for a map to find a facilitator in your area or call our Customer Care Specialists at 800-338-4065.
For helpful tips, special promotions, and event announcements, follow Love and Logic® on Twitter, become a fan on Facebook and pin us on Pinterest.
Funny Parenting Stories and Funny Stories from the Classroom: amusing audios available for your listening pleasure, compliments of Love and Logic. Visit this page to download and enjoy.

© 2013 Love and Logic Institute, Inc. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for forwarding and/or for a single photocopy or electronic reproduction of one email tip only. Please do not alter or modify. For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.

View as Web Page
Love and Logic Institute, Inc. • 2207 Jackson St • Golden, CO 80401 http://www.loveandlogic.com Subscribe | Unsubscribe | Send to a Friend | Preferences | Report Spam Powered by MyNewsletterBuilder

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Liberated Parent Thought for the Day

-----Original Message-----
From: andreaparentcoach@gmail.com
Date: Thu, 7 Feb 2013 16:34:48
To: Andrea's iphone<andreagooldy@gmail.com>
Reply-To: andreaparentcoach@gmail.com
Subject: Liberated Parent Thought for the Day

How exactly do we use empathy in our day to day, hour by hour and sometimes, minute by minute interactions with our children??
Check out excerpts from my new favorite, albeit older book from 1990, "Liberated Parents, Liberated Children : Your Guide to a Happier Family"

** Good feelings don't flow in until the bad ones have been emptied out. **

All feelings are permitted, actions are limited.
We must not deny a child's perceptions.
Only after a child feels right, can he think right.
Only after child feels right, can he do right.

Here are two examples from page 24 of "Liberated Parents, Liberated Children"
The first one is having to do with an older child's (Often only a toddler himself) jealousy or difficulty with having to adjust to a new baby, and being forced to share mommy and daddy's attention.
"This morning the baby was sleeping and Roger kept running in to pull the blanket off of her. I was about to whack him and say, 'you're a big boy now - you should know better!'
But I remembered what you told me the other day about good feelings not flowing in until the bad ones have emptied out. So I just restrained his hand and said, "hey Roger, I have been thinking about how the baby must bother you sometimes. Even when she's sleeping, I'll bet that just having her in the house, just seeing her can sometimes make you mad.'
He gave me a long grateful look, and said, 'Baby's cold. Cover her.'

The second example is regarding sharing. "Nancy's friend was at the house this morning and demanded that I make Nancy share her new Tinkertoy. For the first time I thought about how Nancy might feel. And a strange thing happened. Instead of being angry with Nancy, I found myself feeling almost tender.
I said, 'It seems to me that it must be very hard to share a new toy. People like to have new things to themselves for a long time.' Then to Nancy's friend I said, 'When Nancy is ready, then she will share.' Nobody said a word, but a half hour later, I actually heard Nancy announce, 'Okay Barbara, I'm ready to share now!"

- Just by accepting a feeling it was enough to make a difference - And WOW, what a difference! Instead of irritated parents trying to impose their adult views upon balky children, here were parents who had really tried to listen and understand – here were children who had been hurt, and who had felt understood – children who had been free to respond more lovingly

From "Liberated parents, Liberated Children : Your Guide to a Happier Family " by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
Also Authors of the classic book "How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk"

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Motivating Monday Parenting Tip ~ Hug your first born

Greetings,
I know several of you are pregnant with your 2nd child, or just had your 2nd or 3rd child, so here's a relevant tip! As a firstborn, I know I wished my mom hugged me more, but so much easier to love the younger sweeter babies, toddlers, preschools than awkward older ones. And for those of you, like me, who only have 1, we also need to keep hugging, even when, in my case, my sassy six year old, Christopher, acts like he's too old or "cool" for my affection. I also just found out about a new book called the "The 5 Love Languages for Children" which reminds us that just as we adults have a love language that fills our emotional tank, so do our children. And my sensitive passionate son, similar to his father, has a high need for physical touch, along with a need for words of affirmation. Let me know if the hugs make a positive difference:)
Cheers,
Andrea

From: Tali Peleg <talipeleg2@gmail.com>

Date: Mon, 28 Jan 2013 23:24:24 -0500

To: <Andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>

Subject: Weekly tip - hug your first born

Weekly tip - Hug your first born

Parents with one child tend to ask themselves how could they give love to another child. In reality, as soon as the second child arrives, the "family constellation" changes, and often the younger child will take the "chair" of the cute and adorable one, while the first child will get our complaints and demands: be careful, gently, don't touch the head, you're too big, we expect more, you should know better...

This tip is to remind us to keep hugging the first child (or only child), and keep telling him we love him.

Sometimes, we feel like it's not as fun anymore to hug the eldest child. However, since it's so important, it's critical to keep hugging. Even if it may seem weird at first, with time it will strengthen the relationship with the child.

To register to upcoming seminar: http://talipeleg.eventbrite.com/#

Testimonial on Love and Logic 5 session Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun! Course

"Thank you Andrea. My husband and I have enjoyed, very much, the class. We have learned to create a more calm environment in our home by focusing on our own behavior and responses. Plus, by using empathy and being prepared with two effective choices. We definitely love 'Love n Logic'!"
Mom of 4 (14, 5, 3 and 6mos)

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Love and Logic Dates for Wknd Series @ the Concourse beg Sun March 17th

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Love and Logic Tip ~ When Toddlers Hit

Wednesday, February 13, 2013

L & L Tip ~ Emotional Self-Control: The Goal of Love and Logic

Saturday, February 9, 2013

Recommended Reading for Adults and Children

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Liberated Parent Thought for the Day

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Motivating Monday Parenting Tip ~ Hug your first born

Testimonial on Love and Logic 5 session Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun! Course

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