Other than using the "Uh-oh" Song, these suggestions can apply to all ages, from toddlers to teens. As Dr Fay says below : "Our job as parents is to help them learn more peaceful ways of managing conflict." Please read below for tips to aid us in our job. We will go over the "Uh-oh" Song this Friday morning in L & L Session 2 plus do some role-play using this strategy as well as examples of how to teach problem-solving. As with every new skill, learning how to stay calm, when our children are not, takes a lot of practice. By us becoming more self-aware, and subsequently modeling self-awareness, we are teaching our lil mimics. Glad you're sharing your parenting journey with me:)
------Original Message------
From: Love and Logic Institute, Inc.
To: -AAndrea Gooldy
ReplyTo: Love and Logic Institute, Inc.
Subject: When Toddlers Hit
Sent: Dec 26, 2012 12:37 PM
Before I became a parent, I believed that my children would always solve their problems with words rather than fists.
Then I became a parent…and my kids hit me…and they hit each other.
Take heart. Practically all young children experiment with being aggressive…even when raised in loving, nonviolent homes. Our job as parents is to help them learn more peaceful ways of managing conflict. Listed below are a few tips:
Apply the "Uh Oh Song"
When your toddler hits, sing "Uh Oh," and carry them to their room, a safe highchair, a playpen, or stroller. If you are unfamiliar with this technique study our book, Love and Logic Magic for Early Childhood. Pretend to be calm
The "Uh Oh Song" provides a practical strategy for replacing anger, lectures, threats, or spanking. Remember: The calmer you can look, the less likely your child will get hooked on seeing your face turn red. Teach problem-solving
When your child is calm, role-play more appropriate strategies for dealing with frustration, anger, or conflict. Give them some possible options: "Some kids decide to say 'I'm mad!' rather than hitting. Some kids decide to color with crayons when they get mad. Some kids decide to go in their room and yell at the mirror."
This type of teaching doesn't work quickly…but as they grow older, they will begin to learn that doing such things can help them stay out of trouble. Do your best to keep them fed and rested
Hungry toddlers misbehave. So do tired ones. Too frequently, small children suffer because their parents or daycare providers expect them to cope with unrealistically busy schedules. Let them see you getting upset AND see you handling it well.
There is nothing more powerful than backing our words with actions. What makes this attainable is remembering to take good care of ourselves so that we're not so likely to "lose it" in front of the kids.
Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.
Dr. Charles Fay
Parents and Teachers
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