Andrea's Parenting Spot: Love and Logic Tip ~ Telling a Kid What to Do

We go over enforceable statements in session 4 of Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun! Curriculm and delaying consequences plus the Energy Drain in session 5!

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From: "Love and Logic Institute, Inc." <reply@loveandlogicnews.com>

Date: Wed, 24 Oct 2012 12:58:11 -0400

To: Andrea Gooldy<gooldy@tmo.blackberry.net>

ReplyTo: "Love and Logic Institute, Inc." <noreply@loveandlogic.com>

Subject: Telling a Kid What to Do

We see it all the time. Parents lessen their effectiveness, to a large extent, when they tell children what to do. Why is that? Because parents cannot:

a. Ensure that the child does it.

b. Provide effective consequences for refusal to do it.

So, it's often better not to run around telling children what to do. That often invites rebellion. There are good Love and Logic alternatives:

Give an enforceable statement: "Right now I am expecting (hoping, thinking) that you'll choose to...."

Imply something: Take out a little notebook and start writing. Mutter softly to yourself, "This is something I really need to remember."

State your response as a fact, not a threat: "When we get home you will be able to put some energy back into my system because you are certainly draining it now." (Make sure you follow through with the chore and bask in the energy rays that rain down on you as your child mops the kitchen floor or whatever.)

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