From: Love and Logic Institute, Inc.
To: -AAndrea Gooldy
ReplyTo: Love and Logic Institute
Subject: Motivating our Kids to Try
Sent: Sep 21, 2011 12:42 PM
To receive email from Love and Logic Institute, Inc., add reply@loveandlogicnews.com to your safe sender list. View as Web Page Subscribe Send to a Friend Love and Logic Institute, Inc. Helping Raise Responsible Kids Since 1977™ Why saying, "Just try it, it's easy" isn't a good idea. Weekly Tip from the Love and Logic® Experts Dear Andrea, Has someone ever said to you, "Just try it, it's easy!" and then you found-out the task they coaxed you into trying was painfully difficult? Did this leave you feeling exceptionally capable or downright stupid…and embarrassed? When this happens to the average adult, it doesn't take long for them to conclude two things: This person who's trying to help me is nuts…and definitely not to be trusted! Why should I try if I can't even handle the easy stuff? Quite frequently I overhear well-meaning parents and educators using the "Just try it, it's easy!" approach in an attempt to urge a reluctant child into trying something they're afraid of. When the child finds the task easy, all is right with the world. When they don't, they're confronted with the pain of seeing that they might be so slow that they can't even do something really, really "easy"! How often does this need to happen before our kids lose faith in our word? How often does this have to happen before our children lose faith in their own abilities? Are you willing to take this sort of risk with your kids? In my book, From Bad Grades to a Great Life!, I teach a far safer approach. Experiment with asking your child: A lot of kids find this kind of challenging. Would you try this and let me know what you think? If you hear, "It's too hard. I can't do it," smile, pat them on the back and ask: Aren't you glad that I don't believe that? "Aren't you glad that I don't believe that?" represents an exceptionally powerful way of communicating to your children that they have what it takes to succeed. Delivered in question format its effectiveness becomes supercharged. Remember: Questions create thinking. Statements create resistance. You may also experiment with asking another question: And…aren't you glad that I'm going to love you the same even if you have to work really hard to figure this out? Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend. Dr. Charles Fay ©2011 Love and Logic Institute, Inc. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for forwarding and/or for a single photocopy or electronic reproduction of one email tip only. Please do not alter or modify. For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065. For helpful tips, special promotions, and event announcements, follow Love and Logic® on Twitter and become a fan on Facebook. If we have misspelled your name, or if this isn't you, please click here to correct. Parents and Teachers Don't miss Parenting with Love and Logic® with Dr. Charles Fay and Jedd Hafer in the Detroit area on Saturday, 10/15. Register online or call 800-338-4065 for more information. Featured Selection From Bad Grades to a Great Life! Only $17.95 To shop our online store click on the link above, then "Add to Cart." 2011 Fall Sale Select items on sale plus we will pay your shipping! Visit this page to see sale items and place your order. "Funny Parenting Stories" and "Funny Stories from the Classroom": amusing audios available for your liste
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