ScreamFree Tip: "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself...."

------Original Message------
From: Parent Coach Andrea
To: -AAndrea Gooldy
ReplyTo: Parent Coach Andrea
Subject: ScreamFree Tip: "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself...."
Sent: Sep 1, 2011 11:06 PM

....."Suddenly it MEANS something"....This is a powerful reminder about how our perception is our reality. I like how Hal encourages us to pause in heat of the moment in order to give ourselves a choice to take our child's or anyone's (spouse, family, colleague) behavior personally or not. And if you can "extract yourself from this kind of thinking, you can free yourself up to look for the good in your child rather than squint for the bad." WOW, what a gift that is! Again, this looking for the good approach applies to everyone and everything in your life. I strongly believe we need support from others ongoingly, particularly a safe place to share what's going on in our heads, to help us "extract" this negative, drama creating thinking that really seems to come naturally in our society. Be a rebel, take a deep breath or 10 deep breaths, then choose to focus on the positives around you versus the negatives.......Any comments, or experiences to share? Andrea From: The ScreamFree Institute <c+sf@trusted-sender.convio.net> Sender: The ScreamFree Institute<info@screamfree.com> Date: Fri, 12 Aug 2011 03:00:42 -0500 (CDT) To: <andreaparentcoach@gmail.com> ReplyTo: The ScreamFree Institute <info@screamfree.com> Subject: ScreamFree Tip of the Day: Power Play Share with a Friend
August 12, 2011 | Here's your daily parenting tip from ScreamFree "If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment."
-Marcus Aurelius Antonius (121 AD - 180 AD)
   
Hal's Take:  
Often it's the meanings that we attach to events or conversations that cause us the most pain. Think about it: Someone else's child gets engrossed in conversation and forgets to pick up their plate after dinner. You playfully remind them to do so. What happens when your child does the same thing? Suddenly it MEANS something. They don't respect you. They are lazy. You haven't done a proper job in getting them to take responsibility around the house.
If you can
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