L & L Session 1 * This Tuesday 7pm on The Power of Empathy

Greetings to my New Year's Love and Logic class!
Looking forward to meeting you all this Tuesday evening, learning, and laughing together, and supporting one another. The sessions will start at 7pm, and be held in an office suite :
B210, 6160 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd Atlanta, GA 30328. Right down the street from Costco and Home Depot, towards Hammond Rd.
Once turn into office complex, go straight about 1/8 of a mile and B210 will be on the left, last door on the street. Just call me if have a problem 404-932-9393.
Please note that it Is completely fine if you arrive late or need to leave early. The important thing is you make it to the session if you can, even if only for half of it:)

Why learn how to be empathetic??
Because expressing empathy changes brain chemistry. It SOAKS up emotion allowing the recipient (our child, spouse, friend) to get through the
feeling instead of becoming defensive, seeking revenge or trying to escape. Empathy OPENS the heart and mind to Learning. Anger, lectures, warnings, and sarcasm CREATE fight, flight, or freeze. None of us learn too well from the consequences of our actions when we are "drunk on emotion." Empathy PREVENTS
our fight, flight, or freeze responses. And maintains and allows for relationship growth!

The title of session 1 is "Handling Misbehavior Without Breaking a Sweat." We will learn how to "Go brain dead." Then softly repeat a single Love and Logic one-liner, that you will choose during class that fits your personality.

Please think about which empathetic statement will best fit your personality, culture, etc. Here are some examples:
* "This is so sad"
* "Oh man. That's too bad."
* "What a bummer."
* "Oh dear."
* "That's never good."
* "This stinks."
* "Hmm....."
* "I see......"
* "Gosh, that's tough/frustrating/hard."
* "I don't know. What do you think?" (Better for older kids)

Some MORE benefits of delivering empathy BEFORE delivering consequences:
* Empathy makes the child's poor decision the "bad guy" while keeping the adult the "good guy."
* As a result, the child has a harder time blaming the adult for the problem.
* This forces him or her to look inside and to learn from the consequence. Your goal is to get your child in the "thinking mode" before doing anything else.

Next, please give some thought to a problem you would like to work on such as reducing whining, meltdowns, arguing, having to give repeated warnings, how to handle misbehavior in public, etc. We can touch upon at the beginning of the class, then discuss further following the videos, and workbook exercises.

The most successful parents:
* Take good care of themselves
* Set and enforce limits
* Hold their kids accountable for their misbehavior
* Do all of these things in a very a Loving way
* Know that kids are ready to start learning responsibility as soon as they are old enough to spit beets across the table

Most importantly, from this course, you will learn techniques that will:
* Allow you to discipline your kids without losing their Love & Respect
* Help you raise respectful & responsible kids
* Up the odds that the teenage years will be happy rather than horrific
* Make parenting Fun & Rewarding!

I know this is a lot of information to digest. We will have plenty of time to process and practice the new parenting strategies. Thank you for making this investment in yourself, your kids, and your family!

Andrea

"They say it Takes a Village to Raise a Child, but no one ever tells you where it is or how to get there."

Andrea L Gooldy, M.S.
Parent Educator, Coach and Workshop Facilitator
Independent Love and Logic Facilitator 'Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!'
Certified Screamfree Parenting Leader
AndreaParentCoach@gmail.com
www.andreaparentcoach.com

52 Week Parenting Tool Challenge Positive Discipline

Any one want to join me on this weekly parenting tool challenge for 2014?? This is an Awesome way to practice and improve our parenting tools, together. Scroll down to see list and to subscribe to the challenge via Positive Discipline website. Please let me know if you sign up! Happy New Year 🎉

This week's tool is:

Connection Before Correction

'Extensive research shows that we cannot influence children in a positive way until we create a connection with them. It is a brain (and heart) thing. Sometimes we have to stop dealing with the misbehavior and first heal the relationship.

Connection creates a sense of safety and openness. Punishment, lecturing, nagging, scolding, blaming or shaming create fight, flight, or freeze. Now we know it is just brain science: children learn (grow, feel safe, thrive) best when they feel connection--or as Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs taught us, "a sense of belonging and significance". 

I LOVE what Jane Nelson writes below about

supporting each other ~

Together we can all improve our parenting skills and improve our relationships with our children ***** My next parenting class, Love and Logic for early childhood, begins next Tuesday evening Jan 14th at 7pm in Perimeter area. Please email or text me for more info or to register. I appreciate your forwarding to any parents that may benefit from my parent ed courses***** Andrea L Gooldy, M.S.  Parent Educator, Coach and Workshop Facilitator Independent Love and Logic Facilitator 'Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!' Certified Screamfree Parenting Leader AndreaParentCoach@gmail.com www.andreaparentcoach.com  404-932-9393

Begin forwarded message:

From: Positive Discipline <noreply@blogger.com>
Date: January 4, 2014 at 4:41:00 PM EST
To: Andreaparentcoach@gmail.com
Subject: Positive Discipline with Dr. Jane Nelsen

Positive Discipline with Dr. Jane Nelsen

---

52 Positive Discipline Parenting Tools in 52 Weeks Posted: 04 Jan 2014 10:02 AM PST Take the 52 Parenting Tools in 52 Weeks Challenge. This is a fun way to stay focused on Positive Discipline all year long. We hope you will participate and post comments about your own experiences. You can get a copy of the Positive Discipline Parenting Tool Cards on the Positive Discipline Website and/or download the App for iPhone and Android. It would also be helpful to read a Positive Discipline Book during the year. Together we can all improve our parenting skills and improve our relationships with our children. Click on the links below to read more about the individual Positive Discipline Tools. Week 1 - Connection Before Correction Week 2 - Encouragement Week 3 - Listen Week 4 - Family Meetings Week 5 - Compliments Week 6 - Routines Week 7 - Special Time Week 8 - Take Time for Training Week 9 - Validate Feelings Week 10 - Positive Time Out Week 11 - Jobs Week 12 - Mistakes Week 13 - 3 R's of Recovery Week 14 - Problem Solving Week 15 - Limit Screen Time Week 16 - Follow Through Week 17 - Agreements Week 18 - Focus On Solutions Week 19 - Logical Consequences Week 20 - Natural Consequences Week 21 - Teach Children What to Do Week 22 - Put Kids in the Same  Boat Week 23 - Allowances Week 24 - Hugs Week 25 - Wheel of Choice Week 26 - Act Without Words Week 27 - Understand the Brain Week 28 - Back Talk Week 29 - Winning Cooperation Week 30 - Distract & Redirect Week 31 - Decide What You Will Do Week 32 - Practice Week 33 - Empower Your Kids Week 34 - Motivation Week 35 - Kind and Firm Week 36 - Pay Attention Week 37 - Small Steps Week 38 - Control Your Behavior Week 39 - Sense of Humor Week 40 - Silent Signals Week 41 - Letting Go Week 42 - Eye to Eye Week 43 - Closet Listening Week 44 - One Word Week 45 - Show Faith Week 46 - Break the Code Week 47 - Avoid Pampering Week 48 - Anger Wheel of Choice Week 49 - Encouragement vs Praise Week 50 - Limited Choices Week 51 - Curiosity Questions Week 52 - I Notice Subscribe to Positive Discipline by Email

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Fwd: Ok to listen to recording with your kids!

Hello Class,

First of all, I included everyone's email on here so you can stay in touch, if any of you would like. I was Delighted that you all got along so well, shared, supported and brainstormed solutions. I am always so excited to see women helping women. We need each other particularly when it comes to parenting. I put the two reviewers, Heather and Miki, on copy too. Wish the class could have gone longer! I wanted to forward you this email about it being fine to let your children listen to the parenting cd's with you (especially when in the car altogether), even watch video clips, read out loud from parenting books....I, too, believe that our children will respect us more when they actually SEE us working on being a better parent! This parent educator, Debbie Godfrey, has a very helpful and information filled website so check it out if you have a moment. There are so many relevant articles and examples of challenges (not wanting to get ready in the morning, not wanting to eat, sibling fighting, how to be a family team, etc) that we touched on in our sessions. I haven't listened to her recording on power struggles, but based on the positive remarks especially from the mom regarding her 10 year old son, it sounds worth listening to. She is offering the recording for free until Dec 20th! I plan to listen, to at least a part of it, before the 20th.

Let me know if any of you find any empowering articles on here, or recordings, or anything else on any other parenting websites. Love to know what is inspiring to you. Lets keep our positive parenting conversation going! Additionally, I wanted to put a plug in about buying Love and Logic resources like the cd's, that I gave many of you, as holiday gifts, for baby showers, even for kid's birthdays, for the parents, as we know so many of our kids already have too much. Really, what a gift to give the children.....I wish someone had given my mom these parenting resources when I was younger. And my mom says, all the time, that she wished she had known about these resources when we were kids. You can go to the love and logic website at www.loveandlogic.com to peruse all of the books, cd's, dvd's  or you can go to Amazon to order. Please reach out with any questions you have about the best resources for a certain age. I have listened to over 10 of the cd's, read or reviewed several of the books and also watched some of the dvd's for parents.

 

I will leave you with one of Debbie Godfrey's quotes from article on the next generation not needing parenting classes....what a hopeful way to look at how we can touch future generations, not just our own children. "If you are raising a young child now, one thing you are doing is modeling what type of parent your child is going to be. Do you like the way you parent?  Do you feel confident?  Do you think your child is learning the things that are important to you?  If you did not have those things growing up, then you may not have those skills "inside" you.  Many of us know what we DON'T want to do, but without giving ourselves outside information, we may not know what TO DO instead. Hence the value of parenting classes." Good for you all for being willing to gather outside information:) One more thing, for any of you, that are still reading, please facebook me if you want to get more parenting articles, thoughts, video clips as I use facebook mainly to share parenting resources (well, I also enjoy seeing what friends and family are up to!) 

Happy Holidays to all of you!

Andrea

On Mon, Dec 16, 2013 at 8:07 AM, Debbie Godfrey <debbie@positiveparenting.com> wrote:

December 16, 2013 | Web Version Parent,     I thought you might be like many moms (or dads!) and think that you don't have the time to listen to the recording about dealing with power struggles.   I have a great idea for you, listen to it with your kids!  You may be like some parents and think that if your kids find out your "secrets" than they will somehow use that information against you.  I have found the exact opposite to be true!  When my kids were little, I often watched the parenting videos and even read some paragraphs out of the book out loud to them.  They often understand EXACTLY the idea behind these tools and why they work.  They often respect us even more for trying to be a better parent!   If you have already listened to the recording, GREAT JOB and I'd love to hear from you!  Send me an email. Let me know your feedback about the workshop and any questions or comments you may have.  I especially love to hear success stories of how you use these ideas with your kids.   Happy Parenting!   Debbie Godfrey Positive Parenting debbie@positveparenting.com (805) 648-6846 If you no longer wish to receive our emails, click the link below: Unsubscribe Positive Parenting Po Box 612 Ojai, California 93024 United States (805) 648-6846

L & L Session 5 : The Energy Drain Thurs 930AM at Springmont

Hi parents!
Sadly it's already our last Love and Logic session tomorrow, Dec 12th 930 AM, at the Springmont library. The title of this final session is: "What to Do When Your Kids Leave you Speechless." We will go over the Strategic Planning Session, and the Energy Drain parenting tools. I know Michelle, who is on a Safari in Africa, and Julie, who is at Disney with her family, cannot make it to our last session, but I hope the rest of you can! Also if arrive early, there is a book fair going on so peruse the new books...maybe do a little holiday shopping.

» Parents who take the time to put together successful strategic training sessions say the same thing:
"It's amazing! Now my kids are busy watching what I will do....instead of me being busy stressing over what they will do!"«

Remember, If a child is old enough to Remember a promise, he or she is old enough for Delayed Consequences.
Example: With empathy say: "This is so sad. I'm going to have to do something about this. We'll talk later."

Another option, which I learned last April, in Atlanta, from Charles Fay's talk: "Wow, I've never seen that before (chuckle). Hmm, I am going to do something about that but not sure what. Try not to worry."

> Please review your workbook, page 49 for full description of a strategic training session and page 55 for description of Energy Drain. <
{I have a great L & L cd by Jim Fay on the Energy Drain parenting strategy~ please let me know if you would like me to make you a copy!}

As always, the recipe for success is a healthy does of empathy First followed by an appropriate consequence (if don't have one, delay the consequence or say 'oh, man, when you lie to me, it really drains my energy or when you fight with you siblings, or keep whining/ arguing / being sassy, I lose my energy') then Let the consequence do the teaching or the screaming (as Screamfree parenting suggests as well!). We want our kids THINKING more than we are....

See you in the am! Please Keep your email updates coming. I love hearing how things are going.
Cheers,
Andrea

Andrea L Gooldy, M.S.
Parent Educator, Coach and Workshop Facilitator
Independent Love and Logic Facilitator 'Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!'
Certified Screamfree Parenting Leader AndreaParentCoach@gmail.com www.andreaparentcoach.com

Love and Logic: Take Good Care of Yourself

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: "Love and Logic Institute, Inc." <reply@loveandlogicnews.com>
Date: November 13, 2013 at 12:32:14 PM EST
To: "Andrea Gooldy" <andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>
Subject: Take Good Care of Yourself
Reply-To: "No Reply" <noreply@loveandlogic.com>

What's the first rule of Love and Logic?   Take good care of yourself by setting limits without anger, lectures, threats or repeated warnings.   Many parents feel guilty about putting themselves first. Why? Because they have a little voice in their head that is always telling them what good parents "should" do, for example: Good parents should do everything for their kids. Good parents should sacrifice all of their own needs so that their children are never uncomfortable. Good parents should never be happy if their kids aren't. Don't fall into the trap of raising your kids according to these "shoulds." Doing so creates kids who aren't prepared for the real world. Doing so also creates kids who are a terror to be around!   When we put our children first all of the time, we are typically too drained to show them how much we love them.   Never feel guilty about taking good care of yourself. Feel guilty if you don't.   To master the first rule of Love and Logic, watch our video that aired on PBS titled: How to Discipline Kids without Losing Their Love and Respect.   Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible. If this is a benefit, forward it to a friend.   Dr. Charles Fay     Teachers and Parents See Jim Fay and Dr. Charles Fay as they present together in Livonia, MI on Tuesday, 11/19 and in Phoenix, AZ on Tuesday, 12/3. Graduate-level credit and CEU's are available Register online or call 800-338-4065     Featured Selection   Build next summer's family vacation around the: Love and Logic Educator & Parent Retreat   This June join us at Copper Mountain Resort, one of America's favorite get-a-ways, offering fun-filled activities for the whole family. Visit this page or call 800-338-4065 for more information.   For helpful tips, special promotions, and event announcements, join Love and Logic® on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and YouTube. Funny Parenting Stories and Funny Stories from the Classroom: amusing audios available for your listening pleasure, compliments of Love and Logic. Visit this page to download and enjoy.   © 2013 Love and Logic Institute, Inc. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for forwarding and/or for a single photocopy or electronic reproduction of one email tip only. Please do not alter or modify. For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.   View as Web Page

Love and Logic Institute, Inc. • 2207 Jackson St • Golden, CO 80401

http://www.loveandlogic.com

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New Fall Series Love and Logic Beginning Thurs mornings Nov 7th

Come join me! There's still space:)

Thursdays - Nov 7, 14, & 21st and Dec 5, & 12th 9:15 - 11:15 AM
At Springmont School, 5750 Long Island Drive, NW, Sandy Springs, GA 30327 / Library
Cost $95 for 5 sessions, including Love and Logic workbook

The Love and Logic® philosophy, is an attitude, that allows you to make parenting both fun and rewarding,rather than stressful and chaotic. I will provide practical tools and techniques that help adults achieve respectful, healthy relationships with their children from birth to 6 years of age. You will get words that work right off the tip of your tongue, less stress and more confidence. GET ready to laugh, learn, and take the exhaustion and frustration out of parenting. It's never too early to use Love and Logic!

Session 1: "Handling Misbehavior without Breaking A Sweat."
The Power of Empathy
Session 2:
"Teaching Kids to Listen....The FIRST Time."
The Uh-Oh Song
Session 3:
"Avoiding Power Struggles." Effective Choices
Session 4:
"Limits Create Happier Parents, Happier Kids, And Happier Families." Enforceable Statements
Session 5:
"What To Do When Your Kids Leave You Speechless."
The Energy Drain


Sent from my iPhone

CoParenting Strategies - Parenting Plan

Highlights:

What do we address in a parenting plan? The sky's the limit, but here are a few ideas to get you started (bear in mind that they might vary depending on children's ages):

- Major decisions: What topics are most important for you to consult with each other before making a decision that impacts your family? Write them down.

- Day-to-day decision-making: What kinds of parenting decisions are okay for either one of you to make on your own? Write them down.

- Extended family/holidays: What are your philosophies about where to spend the holidays, and when to schedule visits with extended family (especially grandparents)? If you disagree, what joint-philosophy can you develop?

- Parenting roles & responsibilities: Make a list of childcare & household duties that are ongoing sources of conflict, and resist the impulse to argue with your spouse about any of the items s/he lists. Then, both of you come up with 2-3 plausible fixes to what's on the list, whether or not you agree with what's listed. (No, suggesting your spouse stop complaining or just change an opinion is not a fix!). Choose 1 fix from each of your lists and try them out together. If one works, write it down and keep doing it; if not, try other fixes until you find one you can both live with.

- Kids' schedules:

a) What are your philosophies about kids' extra-curricular activities? If you disagree, what joint-philosophy can you develop together?

b) Create a weekly or monthly kids' drop-off/pick-up schedule, even if only one of you is mostly responsible for this task.

Now that you've discussed components of a plan, what do you do with it? Write it down and revisit it every few months, to make sure it's still working for both of you. Also, consider a regular parenting meeting, if only for 15 minutes, to review what's come up for you as parents in the preceding week.

In the blink of an eye, I've gone from ignorance about parenting plans to becoming a fan. I love that a tool designed to help divorced couples stay aligned as they raise their kids separately, can also support couples raising their kids together.

Who knows? Maybe if some of those divorced couples had created parenting plans when they were married, they might still be together!:-)

 

By Rhona Berens

Until recently, I was a stranger to parenting plans. Other than hearing about custody schedules and, sometimes, child support, most of my divorced pals have kept their co-parenting arrangements with exes under wraps, at least until conflicts occur.

But my friend, L, who divorced when her daughter was 4 (she's now 18), suggested I take a gander at parenting plans, not for how they serve divorced parents, but for what they can teach married couples about staying in sync as we raise our kids.

What's a parenting plan? It's a way for divorced or divorcing couples to coordinate schedules, and find other ways to stay aligned as co-parents. From what I've read, the most effective parenting plans are those that are put into writing, and reviewed or updated regularly.

What's useful about parenting plans for couples who stay together?

It gives us an opportunity to sit down with spouses and make a slew of decisions jointly that might, otherwise, be made on the fly, or by only one of us, or not at all. While solo decisions sometimes work out, they can also spark disagreement or breed frustration.

Given that conflict about the division of labor remains a hot-button topic for many parents-perhaps because research shows that women still do twice the housework and three times the childcare as men-getting aligned around a range of parenting issues is an important ingredient for healthy relationships with our spouses and for our co-parenting success.

FYI, if one parent fulfills 100% of a parenting or household function-even if she or he likes playing that role, or is a stay-at-home-parent-it's often a recipe for resentment.

In an article about rebuilding trust with exes, Jennifer Wolf lists techniques that are also great ground-rules for creating a parenting plan with your current spouse, never mind an ex. Wolf's slightly revised tips are:

Keep promises.

Be consistent.

Be considerate.

Keep trying.

Listen.

Don't get defensive or critical.

Genuinely ask for your spouse's opinion.

Affirm your spouse's relationship and effort with your kids.

So, keeping in mind these ground-rules, what do we address in a parenting plan? The sky's the limit, but here are a few ideas to get you started (bear in mind that they might vary depending on children's ages):

- Major decisions: What topics are most important for you to consult with each other before making a decision that impacts your family? Write them down.

- Day-to-day decision-making: What kinds of parenting decisions are okay for either one of you to make on your own? Write them down.

- Extended family/holidays: What are your philosophies about where to spend the holidays, and when to schedule visits with extended family (especially grandparents)? If you disagree, what joint-philosophy can you develop?

- Parenting roles & responsibilities: Make a list of childcare & household duties that are ongoing sources of conflict, and resist the impulse to argue with your spouse about any of the items s/he lists. Then, both of you come up with 2-3 plausible fixes to what's on the list, whether or not you agree with what's listed. (No, suggesting your spouse stop complaining or just change an opinion is not a fix!). Choose 1 fix from each of your lists and try them out together. If one works, write it down and keep doing it; if not, try other fixes until you find one you can both live with.

- Kids' schedules:

a) What are your philosophies about kids' extra-curricular activities? If you disagree, what joint-philosophy can you develop together?

b) Create a weekly or monthly kids' drop-off/pick-up schedule, even if only one of you is mostly responsible for this task.

Now that you've discussed components of a plan, what do you do with it? Write it down and revisit it every few months, to make sure it's still working for both of you. Also, consider a regular parenting meeting, if only for 15 minutes, to review what's come up for you as parents in the preceding week.

In the blink of an eye, I've gone from ignorance about parenting plans to becoming a fan. I love that a tool designed to help divorced couples stay aligned as they raise their kids separately, can also support couples raising their kids together.

Who knows? Maybe if some of those divorced couples had created parenting plans when they were married, they might still be together!:-)

Rhona Berens, PhD, CPCC, is a professional relationship coach, toddler mom and founder of Parent Alliance®, an information and coaching resource for expecting couples and new parents devoted to ensuring their relationships thrive after they have kids.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Rhona_Berens