The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto from Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

---

From: Andrea Gooldy <andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>

Date: Sun, 21 Apr 2013 00:00:20 -0400

To: Parent Coach Andrea Gooldy<andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>

Subject: The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto from Daring Greatly by Brené Brown

The Wholehearted Parenting Manifesto

Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and loveable.

You will learn this from my words and actions—the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself.

I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness.

You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections.

We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both.

We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices.

You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel.

I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude.

I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable.

When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life.

Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it.

We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here.

As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly.

I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.

Reprinted from Daring Greatly by Brené Brown by arrangement with Gotham Books, a member of Penguin Group (USA) Inc., Copyright (c) 2012.

 

 

Screamfree Session 2: THIS THURS 9am Principles 4-7 ~ "Tell me More"

Good evening ~
Here is a teaser for tomorrow's session! I will have your workbooks so you can capture all this powerful information, review all the thought provoking quotes, and have exercises to supplement your class work. Looking forward to sharing your mistakes as well as your successes....my goal is that we are able to identify the progress you are making so we can build on that. My recent spiritual belief is whatever we feed / give attention to grows, so let's spotlight what we, our kids, partners, our friends, our family are doing right!!! Personally, I grew up in a family where we often did the opposite, using sarcasm, and guess what grew??! Now, it all makes sense. I'm sure a lot of you can relate or this will shed light on why things worked well in your family. Gosh, I wish we, or I, learned earlier about boundaries in my family. LoL! But, it is never too late. My parents are so focused on being amazing grandparents and I am grateful. We can teach our kids and/or learn with them. IF plan to be earlier than 845am to review last wk's video, please let me know;)
Andrea

Perimeter Course Location :
6160 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd Suite B210, Atlanta, GA 30328 -
It's off Peachtree Dunwoody Rd and Hammond, very close to Uncle Julio's, right down the street from Costco and Home Depot.

Section 2: Keeping Your Cool Means Creating Space ~

This section proceeds from a position of calming authority to creating and maintaining an environment that facilitates the growth of our children. In other words, it is time to look at our boundaries.

Boundaries are not limits, but rather self-definition.

Principle 4
BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND, BUT LET GO OF THE FINAL RESULTS

What characteristics would you most like your kids to exhibit as adults?

> The ultimate goal of parenting is to launch our kids into adulthood as self-directed, decisive, and responsible people <

"We inevitably doom our children to failure and frustration when we try to set their goals for them."
-- Dr. Jess Lair

Principle 5
KIDS NEED THEIR ROOM

What kids need most are parents who don't need them.

> Giving our children space is about appreciating that they have a life of their own <

3 WORDS to improve your relationship: "TELL ME MORE"

Principle 6
RESISTANCE IS FUTILE; PRACTICE JUDO PARENTING

Power struggles only occur when both parties feel threatened.

> Can't have a strong-willed child unless strong-willed parent <

Our goal is not to stifle our child's emotions, but rather steer them toward productive expression.

* So instead of rescuing or fixing problems for our kids, we let them struggle, let them have their emotions, their moods, etc. Just be an observer and empathize:
"Wow, that stinks" or "I know....that sounds tough" or "That's a bummer"
Then ask: "So what are you going to do about it?"

Principle 7
YOU ARE NOT A PROPHET, AND NEITHER IS GRANDMA

By exercising restraint over our own freedom, we grant our children the freedom to become themselves.

> This section is about the responsibility of our language <

* The labels we place on our kids, even if those labels at first seem positive, stick harder and last longer that we can possibly imagine. Labels tend to define the child, preventing even the capability to conceptualize change.*

What label did you find placed upon you by family or friends?
"Good girl"; "Our smart one"; "The good athlete" ; "Troublemaker"

How did that label affect the way you felt about yourself?

We get into trouble anytime we assume we know our children.
They cannot be known as constantly evolving / changing.

So instead of labeling a child, try describing the behavior. This would communicate what you're seeing in the child, but still FREE the child to Change.
"I see you working really hard on your puzzle."
"I notice you cleaning up after yourself today without my reminding you."
"It seems hard for you to hug people that you don't know very well."
"I noticed this week that you asked ahead of time for project supplies instead of waiting until the night before."
"Sean sometimes whines at bedtime."

Notice above that I purposely avoided using any limiting words such as "always," "never," "all the time," "constantly." Some words like these could be removed from our vocabulary to greatly benefit our relationships. Hmm, so true...just used always and never in a conversation on Saturday and both were confining and not motivating to the recipient:( Glad I am writing these session overviews so I am reminded to utilize these concepts.

ScreamFree Tip ~ "A wise parent humors the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and advisor when absolute rule shall cease."

Good afternoon ScreamFree mamas ~
Just checking in and sending a ScreamFree Parenting tip to keep you in the ScreamFree frame of mind, or help you get you back in it. This letting go concept is so difficult for a lot of us ~ we need to let go, and let go again, and then again, when it comes to our children. Just as we need to do with our spouses, our parents, siblings, our good friends, etc....It is going to look different, depending on our child's age, his/her personality and ours, plus it is constantly changing ~ that's what makes it fascinating to me, and very challenging to do on our own since we are so close to the situation. Please use this group forum to drill down to what it looks like in your family, with your child/ren. Our next class is this Thurs April 11th beginning at 9am; however, I can meet earlier, at 815 or 830, for anyone who missed the first session or a portion of the session. Please let me know if want to do that. For your calendar, our remainding sessions are:
Thurs April 11th & the 25th (skipping the 18th)
May 2nd & the 9th

As we discussed last week around starting with the end in mind, we want to raise adults who have confidence in their decision making skills, are resilient and believe in themselves. And don't you want to "champion their (our children's) dreams instead of your own, (so) they will see that you are in their corner and they will respect you for that." I do!! I may get off track with that purpose, but luckily, I get back on track via ongoing parenting support like this class, reading and getting honest feedback from
other parents that I respect.
Pls read below for full parenting tip!
Andrea

---

From: The ScreamFree Institute <info@screamfree.com>

Date: Mon, 1 Apr 2013 10:00:59 -0500 (CDT)

To: <andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>

ReplyTo: The ScreamFree Institute <info@screamfree.com>

Subject: Tick Tock Goes the Clock

Share with a Friend Tip of the Day April 1, 2013 The Quote "A wise parent humors the desire for independent action, so as to become the friend and advisor when his absolute rule shall cease." -Sharon Salzberg, The O Magazine, The Power of Intention 2004   ScreamFree's Take The whole goal of parenting is to help our kids arrive at a place where they do not need us any longer. That perspective is difficult to see in our day to day lives and frankly, many parents don’t even want to look for it. I think that’s because many of us, unfortunately, like to be needed by our children. It gives us a feeling of importance and worth that is otherwise hard to come by. We have to realize that at some point, our children will be on their own. They will not need our permission to do things or to go places. That is not something that happens all at once. At least it shouldn’t be. As our kids grow, we should be giving them incremental freedom and responsibility. We should be teaching them how to become good decision makers, and we have to face that making mistakes and getting hurt is a part of that process. The more you can encourage your child to be independent and self-reliant, the more they will believe in themselves. And when you champion their dreams instead of your own, they will see that you are in their corner and they will respect you for that. -Hal Runkel, LMFT, Author of ScreamFree Parenting & ScreamFree Marriage     © The ScreamFree Institute Inc. The ScreamFree Institute Inc., 45 Technology Parkway South, Suite 240, Norcross, GA 30092. 678-672-6410 www.screamfree.com Unsubscribe |  Forward to a Friend |  Homepage Connect With Us

nonprofit software

Many Ways to Prevent Child Sexual Abuse (CSA)

So many ways to get more informed and be involved!

Sent wirelessly via BlackBerry from T-Mobile.

---

From: "K G Cunninghis, D2L Facilitator" <kgcunninghis@comcast.net>

Date: Mon, 25 Mar 2013 21:06:58 -0400

To: <gooldy@tmo.blackberry.net>

Subject: Many Ways to Prevent CSA

Dear Steward of Children, April is Child Abuse Prevention Month and here are three ways to participate; eat, listen, or declare. One is to simply eat. On Thursday, April 25th from 8:30 a.m. - 10:00 a.m. you are invited to support David Moody, of C.D. Moody Construction Company. David is a child sexual abuse survivor and will be the keynote speaker for the GCCA's Change Makers Breakfast. Please come out and support David as he tells his story in the Schwartz-Goldstein Hall of The Temple at 265 Peachtree Street NE Atlanta, 30309. You will also get to hear fellow D2L, SOC facilitator, Susan Duralde, share what it is like to uncover abuse in her own family, report it, and live through a trial. It was quite a journey, with a very happy ending. The breakfast is FREE, but for planning purposes please RSVP to Brenda at brendav@gacfca.org or 678-904-2880. Keep reading... The second way to help prevent child sexual abuse is to start a conversation with your kids. Take your pick: On Monday, April 1, 2013 at 7:00 pm EST or Monday, April 15, 2013 at 10:00 am EST, Tatiana Matthews, LPC and author of "Fred the Fox shouts "NO," will present, Start the Conversation Now! An Adult's Guide to Teaching Children about Sexual Abuse Prevention. The webinar is FREE. For more information about these sessions and for upcoming community events, please visit: Fred the Fox. The third way to prevent child sexual abuse is to contact Your Georgia Legislator and declare your support for HB 350. Today, the required back ground check for daycare workers is fairly simple and does not take into account out of state searches. With HB 350 all daycare workers would be required to submit to federal fingerprint background checks. For more about the bill, please click: Are Fingerprint Checks on Horizon for ALL Daycare Workers?   ©2013 K G Cunninghis, Stewards of Children Facilitator | Sandy Springs, GA 30328

This email was sent to gooldy@tmo.blackberry.net. To ensure that you continue receiving our emails, please add us to your address book or safe list. View this email on the web here. You can also forward to a friend. Unsubscribe

Powered by Mad Mimi ®

 

ScreamFree Parenting Curriculum and Principles

Hi to my fall Love and Logic class,
Shruti is ready for some more Continuing Parent Education by taking my ScreamFree Parenting series. Let me know if anyone else wants to join in. Looking to have on a Tues or Thurs morning, as soon as possible, depending on which day is best for the majority, in the Perimeter area, in an office suite at 6160 Peachtree Dunwoody Rd Atlanta, GA 30328. Once we have a minimum of 5 people, we can agree on day, dates, time and get our ScreamFree living started.

Cost:
5 sessions would be $90 including workbook ($15 value).
** I am still offering at a discount because my regular price is $25/session! **

Here is a description of the curriculum ~
ScreamFree Parenting: Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool

This breakthrough parenting workshop has already inspired parents in churches and organizations all across the country to create revolutionary changes in their homes. The ScreamFree way equips parents to operate from their highest principles while quieting their deepest fears. This lively, interactive workshop goes in-depth into all 12 principles of ScreamFree Parenting and allows each participant to begin to internalize the ScreamFree message and start to put it into practice in their lives. By becoming a ScreamFree Parent, you learn to let go of the need to be the perfect parent with the perfect techniques to raising perfect kids. "The truth is that you don't have to know all the right answers at all the right times in order to be the parent you've always wanted to be; you just have to learn to calm down," says Hal Runkel, parenting expert, family therapist and author of ScreamFree Parenting and ScreamFree Marriage.
In this 5 hour DVD seminar, with a personal workbook, you will learn how will to:
• Eliminate power struggles
• Enjoy your children once again
• Act with confidence, feel more capable
• Let the consequences do the screaming
• Raise your kids to be responsible, respectful, and caring adults
 
The Principles of ScreamFree Parenting
1 - Parenting is Not about the Kids, It's About Parents
2 - Growing Up is Hard to Do, Especially for Grown-Ups
3 - If You're Not Under Control, Then You Cannot Be in Charge
4 - Begin With the End in Mind, but Let Go of the Final Results
5 - Kids Need Their Room
6 - Resistance is Futile; Practice Judo Parenting
7 - You Are Not a Prophet (and Neither is Grandma)
8 - Parents Set the Table by Setting the Tone (and Vice Versa)
9 - Let the Consequences Do the Screaming
10 - Empty Threats Are Really Broken Promises
11 - Put on Your Oxygen Mask First
12 - Revolutionary Relationships
 
*** Relationship change involves making conscious choices to take Hold of our own emotional responses, and let go of our child's. ***
 

Deepak & Oprah's 21 Meditation Day Challenge : Day 6 - The Perfection of Your Body

Hello Soul Sistas ~
Just heard about this free online meditation program on Weds, then again in my Spin class on Thurs, so I thought I must be "Supposed" to do this. I did my 1st meditation yesterday. Believe all the meditations are 15mins. It was wonderful....of course I fidgeted alot, thought about my to-do list, how I don't know how to meditate "right", how I should have started this earlier, how other people in my house need to this (my codependence speaking!) or how will I make myself do daily, but towards the end a peace washed over me. Pls join in / register, if you haven't already! Love to keep an ongoing email or text support system. Personally, I need encouragement to form a new positive habit like this. Smoochies!

Day 6 Mantra ~ "I am perfection. I am healthy. I am strong."

---

From: 21-Day Meditation Challenge <meditationchallenge@chopra.com>

Date: 16 Mar 2013 03:12:54 -0400

To: <andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>

Subject: Day 6 - The Perfection of Your Body

"Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world."  —Eleanor Roosevelt Quick Links Access today's meditation 3 Keys to Living the Life You Want Make Peace With Your Body: A 3-Step Guide to Self Confidence   Welcome to Day 6—The Perfection of Your Body Today's message and meditation center on our bodies, which are perfect in every moment. As we learn more about the messages we send our bodies, we also become more aware of how we talk to ourselves. When we have an ache, pain, sickness, or perceived imperfection, it's important to pay attention to these signals from our body and mind and respond with compassion. In today's visualization exercise, we'll take a journey of self-awareness, traveling throughout the body and offering love, acceptance, and gratitude everywhere we go. Our centering thought for today is: I am perfection. I am healthy. I am strong. We look forward to our connecting in stillness. Blessings, MINDFUL MOMENT When you settle in for meditation, pay attention to how your body feels. If there are feelings of discomfort anywhere in the body, send that area messages of kindness and love. Need help? Click here. 2013 Costa Del Mar Carlsbad, California 92009 United States

This Wed 12-130pm ~ Parenting Seminar on Sensory Processing at Sarah Smith

Hi Parents,
Just found out about a free parenting seminar, this Weds March 13th from 12 to 130pm, at Sarah Smith auditorium, on sensory processing. This is such a fascinating subject that is relevant for both our children, and ourselves. Stop in if you can somehow fit it in your schedule. See below for more info on the seminar and the featured speaker, Kate Drummond, OTR/L, About Play Therapy.

"Sensory Processing:  Hidden Implications That May Be Affecting Your Child's Academic Performance and Environmental Solutions For Success". 

Please let me know if you plan to attend so I can look for you:)
Cheers,
Andrea

---

From: Dana McKenzie <danadmckenzie@gmail.com>

Date: Mon, 11 Mar 2013 20:02:00 -0400

To: Andrea (FMSA) (FMSA)<andreaparentcoach@gmail.com>

Subject: Wednesday OT seminar at Sarah Smith

Parenting Seminar: Kate Drummond, OTR/L, AboutPlay TherapyCategory:Present Parenting ProgramDate:March 13, 2013Time:12:00 PM - 1:30 PMDescription:

"Sensory Processing:  Hidden Implications That May Affecting Your Child's Academic Performance and Environmental Solutions For Success". 
Please save the date for March 13th, 12pm, PC auditorium
Bring Lunch and a friend to hear Kate Drummond, Occupational Therapist
 

Kate is owner and occupational therapist of About Play Therapy Services.  She has been working in the Atlanta area for over 15 years with children in outpatient clinics, schools, Children's Healthcare of Atlanta at Egleston Children's Hospital, and the natural environment.  She began her private work in 2002, and is certified in Sensory Integration.  She joined forces in 2011 with longtime friend and colleague Lauren Zimet, speech and language pathologist, to found the Healthy Foundations Program.  In addition to their therapeutic work with children and families, Kate and Lauren have a passion for brain health, nutrition, and mindful living, and enjoy sharing these passions with clients and the community at large. 

Link:

www.aboutplaytherapy.com

Where:SRS Primary Campus
370 Old Ivy Drive
Atlanta, GA 30342

Auditorium

<print>            <close window>            <map to location>