I am SO excited to finally have a parenting class, Love and Logic: Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun, starting Thurs Jan 13th, open to the public!!! Please contact me at AndreaParentCoach@gmail.com to sign up. I am offering discounted pricing of $65 for the 5 sessions plus the L &L workbook.
FMSA Love and Logic morning class dates Jan 13,21 and Feb 10,17&24
Time : 9:30-11:30am
Location: First Montessori School of Atlanta (FMSA) Library
FMSA is located in Sandy Springs off of Mount Vernon on Long Island Dr at
5750 Long Island Drive, NW
Atlanta, GA 30327
Session 1 Thurs Jan 12th
"Handling Misbehavior Without Breaking A Sweat."
Session 2 Friday Jan 21st
"Teaching Kids to Listen....The FIRST Time."
Session 3 Thurs Feb 10th
"Avoiding Power Struggles."
Session 4 Thurs Feb 17th
"Limits Create Happier Parents, Happier Kids, And Happier Families."
Session 5 Thurs Feb 24th
"What To Do When Your Kids Leave You Speechless."
Monday, December 20, 2010
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Screamfree Parenting Tip : Finders Keepers
Awww, this quote makes me laugh and certainly resonates with me.
"Recently a young mother asked for advice. What, she wanted to know, was she to do with a 7-year-old who was obstreperous, outspoken, and inconveniently willful? "Keep her," I replied." -Anna Quindlen
Just as Love and Logic repeatedly says: any child 'worth keeping', is going test, push limits, and challenge us. And to look at our kids as scientists whose job it is to do experiments! I am smiling now thinking of an experiment that a girlfriend's 3 1/2 year creative, strong willed son performed just last wk on their kitchen floor w/barbeque sauce and guacomole!! Yes he learned if you make a big mess, you have to clean it up. And sometimes you have to use your own money to replace item used/wasted. And may even have to go to the store with mom instead of playground/acquarium/swimming, to buy the item that the family is now out of! Please read on for the Screamfree Parenting Tip below. Please let me know if want assistance creating some logical appropriate consequences intended to teach / guide your child/children! And delivered with empathy first before the consequence.
May 19, 2010 | Here's your daily parenting tip from ScreamFree
"Recently a young mother asked for advice. What, she wanted to know, was she to do with a 7-year-old who was obstreperous, outspoken, and inconveniently willful? "Keep her," I replied."
-Anna Quindlen
Parenting Tip: We want our children to be considerate of others and mindful of their manners. But, we must not forget that this is only ONE of the things we want for our children. We also want them to be independent and brave. We want them to be able to stand up for themselves and for others.
If you have a strong willed child, be grateful. Rejoice in that. Don’t take it personally when they test out their will on you. Don’t take it upon yourself to “break them” like a horse. Your job is to guide them and teach them the best ways to use that strong will for things that are just and good. Let them know when they’ve crossed the line, but do so with consequences and without malice. Champion their courage while guiding their paths – we’ll all be better off with a generation like this than one who is mindlessly obedient.
-Jenny Runkel
Director of Content for The ScreamFree Institute
© The ScreamFree Institute Inc.
The ScreamFree Institute Inc., 45 Technology Parkway South,
Suite 240, Norcross, GA 30092. 678-672-6410
www.screamfree.comUnsubscribe | Forward to a Friend | Homepage
Connect With Us
nonprofit software
"Recently a young mother asked for advice. What, she wanted to know, was she to do with a 7-year-old who was obstreperous, outspoken, and inconveniently willful? "Keep her," I replied." -Anna Quindlen
Just as Love and Logic repeatedly says: any child 'worth keeping', is going test, push limits, and challenge us. And to look at our kids as scientists whose job it is to do experiments! I am smiling now thinking of an experiment that a girlfriend's 3 1/2 year creative, strong willed son performed just last wk on their kitchen floor w/barbeque sauce and guacomole!! Yes he learned if you make a big mess, you have to clean it up. And sometimes you have to use your own money to replace item used/wasted. And may even have to go to the store with mom instead of playground/acquarium/swimming, to buy the item that the family is now out of! Please read on for the Screamfree Parenting Tip below. Please let me know if want assistance creating some logical appropriate consequences intended to teach / guide your child/children! And delivered with empathy first before the consequence.
May 19, 2010 | Here's your daily parenting tip from ScreamFree
"Recently a young mother asked for advice. What, she wanted to know, was she to do with a 7-year-old who was obstreperous, outspoken, and inconveniently willful? "Keep her," I replied."
-Anna Quindlen
Parenting Tip: We want our children to be considerate of others and mindful of their manners. But, we must not forget that this is only ONE of the things we want for our children. We also want them to be independent and brave. We want them to be able to stand up for themselves and for others.
If you have a strong willed child, be grateful. Rejoice in that. Don’t take it personally when they test out their will on you. Don’t take it upon yourself to “break them” like a horse. Your job is to guide them and teach them the best ways to use that strong will for things that are just and good. Let them know when they’ve crossed the line, but do so with consequences and without malice. Champion their courage while guiding their paths – we’ll all be better off with a generation like this than one who is mindlessly obedient.
-Jenny Runkel
Director of Content for The ScreamFree Institute
© The ScreamFree Institute Inc.
The ScreamFree Institute Inc., 45 Technology Parkway South,
Suite 240, Norcross, GA 30092. 678-672-6410
www.screamfree.comUnsubscribe | Forward to a Friend | Homepage
Connect With Us
nonprofit software
Daily Parenting Reflection: Give Yourself a Time-Out
Hey Mom's & Dad's!!!
How do you refuel?? Reading, gardening, working out, meeting w/a friend, watching your fav show, being out in nature, meditating, etc.? Love to hear what you do to take a time-out to recharge....as Screamfree parenting teaches we must practice putting our "Oxygen Mask on First" to be the best person & parent we can be. Why is self-care so challenging in our culture esp for us women?? It certainly does not come naturally to me. Instead easiest for me to do, do & do for others, then become totally exhausted, cranky, resentful & no fun to be around. Plus my son seems to model my crankiness too and my hubby!! I'm starting to say No to others & my blackberry. And finally Yes to me & my priorities. I fall off the self-care wagon often; however, I'm happy to just be in the self-care game finally! Check out the below daily reflection from an amazing counselor and author, Heather Forbes. Today just do one thing that refuels you even if just a 15min walk, a Starbucks coffee or phone call w/a cherished friend. I just worked out for my refueling.
Andrea
Andrea L Gooldy, M.S.
Counselor
Parent Coach & Workshop Facilitator
Independent Love and Logic Facilitator 'Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!'
Certified Screamfree Parenting Leader
AndreaParentCoach@gmail.com
404-932-9393
Check out the latest on my Blog!
www.andreaparentcoach.blogspot.com
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
From: Heather T Forbes LCSW
Date: Tue, 25 May 2010 10:54:36 -0400 (EDT)
To:
Subject: Heather's Daily Reflection
You can only expect your child to be as regulated as you are. If you are dysregulated, take a time-out for yourself. Give yourself time to refuel when you become emotionally, physically, and spiritually overwhelmed.
Press on Andrea,
Heather T. Forbes, L.C.S.W.
author of:
Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Volumes 1 and 2
Dare to Love
www.beyondconsequences.com
How do you refuel?? Reading, gardening, working out, meeting w/a friend, watching your fav show, being out in nature, meditating, etc.? Love to hear what you do to take a time-out to recharge....as Screamfree parenting teaches we must practice putting our "Oxygen Mask on First" to be the best person & parent we can be. Why is self-care so challenging in our culture esp for us women?? It certainly does not come naturally to me. Instead easiest for me to do, do & do for others, then become totally exhausted, cranky, resentful & no fun to be around. Plus my son seems to model my crankiness too and my hubby!! I'm starting to say No to others & my blackberry. And finally Yes to me & my priorities. I fall off the self-care wagon often; however, I'm happy to just be in the self-care game finally! Check out the below daily reflection from an amazing counselor and author, Heather Forbes. Today just do one thing that refuels you even if just a 15min walk, a Starbucks coffee or phone call w/a cherished friend. I just worked out for my refueling.
Andrea
Andrea L Gooldy, M.S.
Counselor
Parent Coach & Workshop Facilitator
Independent Love and Logic Facilitator 'Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun!'
Certified Screamfree Parenting Leader
AndreaParentCoach@gmail.com
404-932-9393
Check out the latest on my Blog!
www.andreaparentcoach.blogspot.com
Sent via BlackBerry from T-Mobile
From: Heather T Forbes LCSW
Date: Tue, 25 May 2010 10:54:36 -0400 (EDT)
To:
Subject: Heather's Daily Reflection
You can only expect your child to be as regulated as you are. If you are dysregulated, take a time-out for yourself. Give yourself time to refuel when you become emotionally, physically, and spiritually overwhelmed.
Press on Andrea,
Heather T. Forbes, L.C.S.W.
author of:
Beyond Consequences, Logic, and Control, Volumes 1 and 2
Dare to Love
www.beyondconsequences.com
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Love and Logic: The Energy Drain
Here's a generic consequence when you're unsure what to do about the lying, hitting, sassy'ing back, spitting, yelling, throwing, biting, delaying going nite nite or getting ready in the am, quarreling with sibling or friend, etc. I've had some success using it with Christopher when he's being disrespectful. He's replaced my energy by vacuuming with the hand vac & cleaning baseboards with the costco baby wipes!! Remember to lower your expectations of how well they clean up for you, fold your clothes....The main point is that they are helping & learning how to do chores even if not up to your standards, especially you perfectionists out there like me!! Let me know how the Energy Drain works for you. AS with all new parenting strategies, we need to practice it again and again! Good Luck! FYI, we go over the Energy Drain in Session #5 of the Early Childhood Parenting Made Fun! Class. Thanks for Reading! For more Love and Logic, go to www.loveandlogic.com and click on free resources. They have tons of articles for all ages and all kinds of misbehavior. Also have some articles translated into Spanish. Thx! Andrea
LOVE AND LOGIC® SOLUTIONS
What to Do When an Appropriate Consequence is Hard to Find
by Dr. Charles Fay
The “Energy Drain” approach was created to give adults a practical way of creating logical consequences
that teach responsibility. Simply stated, the child (or teen) is required to replace energy “drained”
from the adult by their misbehavior.
Step 1:
Deliver a strong dose of sincere empathy.
This is so sad.
Step 2:
Notify the youngster that their misbehavior drained your energy.
Oh sweetie. When you lie to me (or almost any other misbehavior) , it drains energy right out of me.
Step 3:
Ask how he or she plans to replace the energy.
How are you planning to put that energy back?
Step 4:
If you hear, “I don’t know,” offer some payback options.
Some kids decide to do some of their mom’s chores? How would that work?
Some kids decide to hire and pay for a babysitter—so their parents can go out and relax. How would that work?
Step 5:
If the child completes the chores, thank them and don’t lecture
Thanks so much! I really appreciate it.
Step 6:
If the child refuses or forgets, don’t warn or remind.
Remember: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Step 7:
As a last resort, go on strike OR sell a toy to pay for the drain.
What a bummer. I just don’t think I have the energy to take you to Silly Willie’s Fun Park this weekend.
OR…
What a bummer. You forgot to do those chores. No problem. I sold your Mutant Death Squad action figure to
pay for a babysitter tonight.
LOVE AND LOGIC® SOLUTIONS
What to Do When an Appropriate Consequence is Hard to Find
by Dr. Charles Fay
The “Energy Drain” approach was created to give adults a practical way of creating logical consequences
that teach responsibility. Simply stated, the child (or teen) is required to replace energy “drained”
from the adult by their misbehavior.
Step 1:
Deliver a strong dose of sincere empathy.
This is so sad.
Step 2:
Notify the youngster that their misbehavior drained your energy.
Oh sweetie. When you lie to me (or almost any other misbehavior) , it drains energy right out of me.
Step 3:
Ask how he or she plans to replace the energy.
How are you planning to put that energy back?
Step 4:
If you hear, “I don’t know,” offer some payback options.
Some kids decide to do some of their mom’s chores? How would that work?
Some kids decide to hire and pay for a babysitter—so their parents can go out and relax. How would that work?
Step 5:
If the child completes the chores, thank them and don’t lecture
Thanks so much! I really appreciate it.
Step 6:
If the child refuses or forgets, don’t warn or remind.
Remember: ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS!
Step 7:
As a last resort, go on strike OR sell a toy to pay for the drain.
What a bummer. I just don’t think I have the energy to take you to Silly Willie’s Fun Park this weekend.
OR…
What a bummer. You forgot to do those chores. No problem. I sold your Mutant Death Squad action figure to
pay for a babysitter tonight.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Thought for the Day on Growing UP
Thanks to GG, Grandma Grace, for forwarding the below quote from life coach Stan Cutherell's blog. Now that GG is 70 as of last wk, wonder if she feels grown up? Is growing up about forgiveness of others and ultimately oneself? I think so......what do you think.....
“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise” -Alden Nowlan
“The day the child realizes that all adults are imperfect, he becomes an adolescent; the day he forgives them, he becomes an adult; the day he forgives himself, he becomes wise” -Alden Nowlan
L & L Session # 2 : " Teaching Kids to Listen the First Time"
I'm looking forward to our 2nd class! And to sharing & discussing how the parenting strategies have been working or not working. It's a great time to tweak if not as effective as you'd like to be in using certain parenting tools.
This week our session will teach:
* Why giving repeated warnings is SO damaging to children
* Simple techniques for getting your kids to behave without having to lecture, threaten, bribe, or spank
* Tips for putting an end to misbehavior in public
* How to lower your blood pressure and have more fun!
Remember when trying these new techniques, you're going to make mistakes, just like our kids. Please try to be Patient w/yourself. If you can't be, call or email me or one of us in the group or another supportive friend.
As the montessori approach teaches, it's the Process that's important instead of the Result. Keep practicing & learning what works for you & your family and what doesn't!! And to focus on & acknowledge the Effort (both ours & our kids, spouses, etc) rather than the Outcome.....
All this sounds easy in theory but we all know challenging to put into practice. So, I guess developing empathy for kids and for ourselves is crucial. Let's support each other in building our empathy muscle.
How's your empathetic statement working?? Are you noticing your empathy diffusing or soaking up your child's emotion? I realize now that when my child or anyone for that matter is "drunk on emotion", using lectures, anger, warnings, sarcasm are basically like throwing gasoline on a fire!
Enjoy the rest of your wknd!
Thank you ! Andrea=)
This week our session will teach:
* Why giving repeated warnings is SO damaging to children
* Simple techniques for getting your kids to behave without having to lecture, threaten, bribe, or spank
* Tips for putting an end to misbehavior in public
* How to lower your blood pressure and have more fun!
Remember when trying these new techniques, you're going to make mistakes, just like our kids. Please try to be Patient w/yourself. If you can't be, call or email me or one of us in the group or another supportive friend.
As the montessori approach teaches, it's the Process that's important instead of the Result. Keep practicing & learning what works for you & your family and what doesn't!! And to focus on & acknowledge the Effort (both ours & our kids, spouses, etc) rather than the Outcome.....
All this sounds easy in theory but we all know challenging to put into practice. So, I guess developing empathy for kids and for ourselves is crucial. Let's support each other in building our empathy muscle.
How's your empathetic statement working?? Are you noticing your empathy diffusing or soaking up your child's emotion? I realize now that when my child or anyone for that matter is "drunk on emotion", using lectures, anger, warnings, sarcasm are basically like throwing gasoline on a fire!
Enjoy the rest of your wknd!
Thank you ! Andrea=)
Review of L & L Session # 1 and Check-in
Good morning Moms!
From Session 1, Empathy is the most important skill. Empathy is learned so we can develop it. As I noted in class, empathy CHANGES brain chemistry by soaking up emotion thus preventing fight-or-flight reactions. None of us learn too well from the consequences of our actions when we are "drunk on emotion."
* BY Delivering A STRONG DOSE OF EMPATHY Before Delivering Consequences, we can help our little ones THINK & LEARN from their mistakes. * The goal is to have our kiddies thinking more than we are....even if that means delaying consequences until we're calmer and are able to come up w/an appropriate consequence w/o anger, lectures, etc. I'm curious what momma D came up with for daughter L's scratching outburst / meltdown.
~ Here's to our contributing to more Empathy in the world!! And even getting some back :D ~
What's your empathetic statement?? "I know" is working best for me w/both my son & my hubby. How's your empathetic statement working for you? Is anyone using "I Love you too much to argue? " Notice different results from using empathy vs lectures, anger, warnings, sarcasm.....
Please do a reading or two in workbook or an exercise (I have my workbook in my car so I often read a page or two while sitting in carpool line), listen to your cd's, even if for 5-10 mins, to keep learning & formulating Your gameplan. Think emailing is an effective tool to pause, brainstorm & gain encouragement. So pls keep the emails coming w/progress, mistakes, frustrations, successes, questions, etc.
Thank you for investing in yourselves and your families! Andrea=)
From Session 1, Empathy is the most important skill. Empathy is learned so we can develop it. As I noted in class, empathy CHANGES brain chemistry by soaking up emotion thus preventing fight-or-flight reactions. None of us learn too well from the consequences of our actions when we are "drunk on emotion."
* BY Delivering A STRONG DOSE OF EMPATHY Before Delivering Consequences, we can help our little ones THINK & LEARN from their mistakes. * The goal is to have our kiddies thinking more than we are....even if that means delaying consequences until we're calmer and are able to come up w/an appropriate consequence w/o anger, lectures, etc. I'm curious what momma D came up with for daughter L's scratching outburst / meltdown.
~ Here's to our contributing to more Empathy in the world!! And even getting some back :D ~
What's your empathetic statement?? "I know" is working best for me w/both my son & my hubby. How's your empathetic statement working for you? Is anyone using "I Love you too much to argue? " Notice different results from using empathy vs lectures, anger, warnings, sarcasm.....
Please do a reading or two in workbook or an exercise (I have my workbook in my car so I often read a page or two while sitting in carpool line), listen to your cd's, even if for 5-10 mins, to keep learning & formulating Your gameplan. Think emailing is an effective tool to pause, brainstorm & gain encouragement. So pls keep the emails coming w/progress, mistakes, frustrations, successes, questions, etc.
Thank you for investing in yourselves and your families! Andrea=)
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